I've sent her my ironing. That'll keep her busy.
I learned next to nothing.
Her: oh, cool! What is it?
Me: Its my thermos, from work!
Her: Oh, well um, the line work is really...
Me: Don't touch the thermos-tat!
And I called it a day.
Just for the halibut.
Fanta of the opera.
Or at least not as “flashy”
Why is 6 afraid of 7?...because 7-8-9.
Me (to son): digging holes in the ground.
mum: snigger
What a dull name for a drilling company. Why didn’t Musk partner up with the founder of Microsoft and call it ‚Elon-Gates Tunnels‘?
What do they want a medal?
One of them pulls out some weed and asks his mate, "Wanna get medium."
He decides he wants to spice up his day and call his dealer. He asks his dealer, "hey, do you have anything new I haven't tried?" His dealer responds, "I just got some new weed named after old cartoon characters! It's some potent stuff!" The guy accepts this and meets up with the dealer. When he gets back home, he goes to roll a joint and finds that it just doesn't want to stay rolled and keeps coming apart. Frustrated, he calls the dealer back. "This shit just won't stay rolled! What did you sell me?" The dealer responds, "that's just how the scooby doobie do!"
The Redundan-Sea
"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Well that's just par for the course.
but I've slowly gained interest
I’ll just see myself out, thanks.
But actually they're pretty cool
But... it’s lit! Hits the dad dab
I dust can’t sand it.
He said, “I usually tell her about my job.”
Which to be honest I think is a pretty mean way to refer to our city council, however dull they may be.
It's Thyme to stop.
He went fission
When we were Christmas shopping for our kids, we went to target. After walking around for a while I got bored and eventually found a bouncy ball. It was a small inflatable basketball about tennis ball sized and being inflated instead of solid rubber, it made a louder noise when it hit the ground.
We were walking around and I was bouncing the ball. My wife got visibly irritated at the constant noise following her around and told me to please put it down. I bounced it again and said "I'm trying, but every time I do, it comes back up into my hand"
Que the groan.
Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.
You know the drill
It stopped me from streaking.
I learned next to nothing.
So they called it a day
I learned next to nothing.
I learned next to nothing
They called it a day
