Voldemort's parents played boop got your nose! one to many times
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👤︎ u/Axe2004
📅︎ May 12 2019
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Boop!

So my wife and my eldest daughter were having a boop war, each trying to get in the last boop. As they were fighting with each other's hands over my shoulder, I commented, "keep your hands off her boops!" My daughter cracked up and my long suffering wife slapped me.

Edit: Grammar from my grammar Nazi daughter.

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👤︎ u/UrbanDad
📅︎ Feb 26 2014
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I'm feline punny today
👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Apr 14 2019
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If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work?

ihop.

👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/Lord_Vile1
📅︎ Feb 24 2019
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My wife told me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was kidding.

Then I saw her face...

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/Degtyrev
📅︎ Feb 06 2019
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What do you get when you add a corgi puppy seeing itself in the mirror for the first time to a kitten booping another kitten on the nose?

An awww sum

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📅︎ Jul 05 2016
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Son: "Dad. what are you favorite mountains?"

Dad: boops son on nose - The Poconos, of course!

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📅︎ Jan 05 2018
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I forgot to pay my membership fee for months.

But today I finally remembered.

👍︎ 269
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👤︎ u/Egren
📅︎ Jun 19 2017
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I used to work at a can crushing factory

It was soda pressing

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/subhi2
📅︎ Oct 17 2018
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When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/iZacAsimov
📅︎ Jun 19 2017
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Done Cheadle made a dad joke on house of lies last night

Son to don cheadle: dad, make me a cappuccino, i need the energy for basketball tryouts.

Don cheadle to son: (boops him on head) ok, voila, you're a cappuccino!

Edit: I accidentally an e in the title

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📅︎ Jan 14 2014
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Wife got me

Wife: What are the most annoying mountains in the world?

Me: I dunno.

Wife: [boops my nostrils] The poke-a-nose!

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👤︎ u/PKMKII
📅︎ Sep 25 2015
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What's that on your shirt?

boop

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👤︎ u/wulkes
📅︎ Nov 09 2013
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