Benzylpenicillin Puns

21F;
151cm;
43-44kg;
Painful joints that get worse with exercise (or any kind of movement, my hips are sore from even 20 minutes of walking), swollen knees after hiking, back pain and stiffness (especially in the morning), chest discomfort and occasional chest pain, fatigue, getting out of breath easily; might not be related but I also have poor circulation and possible low blood pressure (cold feet and hands, blood wasn't coming out during blood test, dizzy when standing up quickly)
Duration: pain on and off for about 8-9 years, fatigue is pretty new, I'd say for about a few weeks;
No known physical issues other than a sensitive stomach (occasional stomach pain and nausea, especially after a large or heavy meal), suspected very mild scoliosis, suspected ADHD and anxiety (which I initially thought was the cause of my chest pain);

No current medication, finished Accutane in September 2020 (back pain got worse during course and then stayed that way, recently got worse but it might be the mattress as I moved); UK;

When I was around 12-13 I had blood tests done in Romania (my home country, moved to the UK in 2016) which showed raised ASO levels (I think it was in the 300s but I'm not sure). A few weeks later the results were higher (at least in the 600s). My brother's (8-9 at the time) results were much worse at first (thousands) but lower than mine in the second test. We were prescribed Moldamin antibiotic injections, which for irrelevant reasons we did not get. It passed, the damage was done. We were kids and scared of needles, everyone who knew what they are was talking about how painful they are so of course I did not insist on them when our parents didn't take us to get them.

Shortly after, I remember getting horrible joint pain, mainly my knees, hips and ankles. I was a competitive dancer and I had to stop during rehearsals sometimes because the pain was unbearable. This is when I believe I had rheumatic fever. I can't remember more. Around that time I started getting random chest pain towards the left side. The joint pain got better enough to be able to function so we blamed it on growing pains. Another problem that I used to have a lot, not as often now but still, is leg bone pain when slightly cold, especially at night, that moves from place to place. I believe(d) that it is normal. Ever since, when walking my hips hurt and they click/pop 2 times each step, every step. Sometimes worse than others, but the pain and discomfort

I am 29 years old white (European) woman. I'm 4' 11" and 80 lbs, ectomorph somatotype, varied and abundant diet, the last 2 years I have been suffering post nasal drip and sore throat.

My last culture gives positive for Staphylococcus aureus and resistant for Benzylpenicillin. This mean that is also resistant for others methicillins? Could be MRSA?

Here you are the culture result: https://i.imgur.com/ecmuktN.png

PD: My ENT says that is common to have Staphylococcus aureus in the throat but I also have infection symptoms (sore throat, geen mucus, white post nasal drip...)

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

Because a toothbrush works better

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

The Bushes

Well, toucan play at that game.

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

I’d have $8.40

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

Now, I'm living in a flat.