Driving down the road, listening to Disney songs. I look in my rear view mirror. My two-year-old is grooving. I ask her, "Aw, are you dancing?" And she replies,

"I'm Avery."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuLongDong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Aw this a while back and thought I’d recreate it
πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/voodooking4400
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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Aunt: Aw, look at you. You've got your father's eyes

Dad: Son, where's my glass eye

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyrdrink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Say hello to my . . . . MEME-AW
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShebanotDoge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report
[Request] Need a terrible terrible just god awful pun

My girlfriend bet me I couldn't find a pun so bad that she'd tell me to shut up and fuck off and die. Naturally I want to prove her wrong. Any and all help is appreciated

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Can't berr this awful pun
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSludge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Complimented a friend on her musical knowledge today...

Me:

> I don't know how you find the time to listen to so many bands.

She replied:

> Yeah, I just have a lot of bandwidth.

Normally, I'm the one with the awful puns. I paused, saw her grin, and had to high five her.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rand486
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_am_dan17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

πŸ‘︎ 231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Awful dad jokes and puns...

That's how eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried street tacos for the first time and man they were awful

They tasted like asphalt!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12mpclark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
did nt have enough karma for okbr so it goes here (that's why its just awful)
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxixe007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
You’re Awful

As in you fill me with awe

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatSlipperySeal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.

Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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What do you get when you combine an awful hair style and a singer?

A Perry Comover

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.

He’s a total night mayor.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Astronaut 1: Isthereaplacewecanhangoutafterwork?

Astronaut 2: Yeah, there’s a space bar right over there.

Astronaut 1: Great, wanna go after work?

Astronaut 2: Nah, not really; the drinks are great but there’s no atmosphere...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pleasethelions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the record store and bought a new album. It was awful...

I tried to get a refund. But I couldn't get my NickleBack.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolly2284
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I own the world worst theasaurous. Not only is it awful...

But it's awful

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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My friend wrote this book. It’s awful of puns. amazon.com/dp/1097511723/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterchiefpetty
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daashaina
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I have this idea for a takeaway restaurant which just sells dairy

I call it whey-to-go

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/humanbeingahuman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My pet crow is awful at poker...

All he does is caw.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simounstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Teacher: Use the word β€˜intermittent’ in a sentence.

I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Sidgio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Settle a pun debate

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creaky_thumbs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Awful taste but great Exeggutor (Execution)
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikehosy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Guys, I know why 2020 been so awful.

If we ever get to 2021. I will be endlessly talking people that `2020 is hindsight` and the sear terribleness of this pun got all god and Eldridge abominations to band up and try to end humanity before that happens. With this, earthly insight, I decided that everyone must be informed of the pun. It is, my and I can't die peacefully knowing it has not laid its mark on a mortal soul

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenflame15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Not all Math puns are awful.

Just sum.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Knock knock it’s onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia who you ask?

Please open the door, onomatopoeia my pants!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? Aw hell no

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeislikeadick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
awful one but found it in a store so yum
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananaistheanna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought my wife a prosthetic leg for Christmas this year.

It was just a stocking filler

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Stop making awful new years jokes

Seriously, I've heard them for the entire decade so far.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyreoz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I own the worlds worst thesaurus

Not only is it awful, it's awful.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UrMum9ay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where is the gym located at Hogwarts?

Just out the dumbbell door.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom told really an awful joke about concrete:(

Cement it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strychinine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it terminal

πŸ‘︎ 367
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrenter_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

my doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

The doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bgreenwood95
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the restaurant] Her: This isn’t working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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