I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill

I got mixed results.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.

Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried attaching my watch to my belt buckle

I then realized it was a waist of time

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I just spent three hours attaching a bunch of watches together to make a belt.

I’ve just realized it’s a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...

Stop making that racket.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.

It went off without a hitch.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ldb477
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?

β€œoon”.

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I've started writing songs about my attachment issues.

I'm calling it Cling Rap.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_Official_Acct
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..

Good Tie-dings to all men!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If I attached a watch to my belt....

It would be a waste of time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
He was tucking in his shirt after the microphone was attached why ?

He talks from his ass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaggedSolid6
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of nut is attached to the ceiling?

A Wall-nut. From my 8 year old son tonight. I am so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ilovecostcohotdog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call someone who is sexuality attached to everyone as long as they have a sense of humour

a punsexual

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aggeliki04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My fucking dad was sending me some credentials, and he attached this photo with it.... Sorry if this doesn't fit here.
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snacks_is_Hungry
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I forgot all about the balloon I attached to the water hose outside!

Edit: oh wow, this blew up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars

Blimp My Ride

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandon_Mercer078
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Coughy Filter (see attached meme)

https://imgur.com/a/wi51bYh

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrsmarquez5117
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
No strings attached, trust me
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
At graduation the psychiatrist was given a wicker attache

It was his first basket case

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Today, in a cultural fair, I found someone was giving away free balloons to children

No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manantyagi25
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Anyone want a free air guitar?

No strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cunt_Puffin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The ad said β€œFree Violin”...

But there were strings attached.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I happily hummed as I attached the final arm to my dead girlfriends torso...

I made Mary!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know if this belongs here but my dad...

... spent all weekend making this coffee table. I didn't think much of it until i saw him attaching some hoses, a water tank, a dirt tank, a fan, a propane tank and a timer. I asked him what the hell he was building and he said "Well twice a day it's going to shoot either fire, water, dirt or air." I sat there stunned and confused and just said "But....why?" He said "Why? Well that's because it's a periodic table of elements."

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/melancholytron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Life is full of complications....

Even when you're born, there is a string attached.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I was once told that old married women have a bushy appendage attached to their lower back

But apparently it was just an old wives tale

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luscious_Glory
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw a guy driving a truck with a port-a-potty attached to the back...

He must have a shitty job.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProDisco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the pirate say when the man asked about the wheel attached to his crotch

Argh, I don’t know, but it’s been drivin me nuts all day

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bombdogjr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Pixar decide on a name for the movie about an elderly man who attached balloons to his house?

They made it Up.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontstoprock
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbors couch has been in the hallway for 5 days. I want to attach jokes to the couch but I'm having trouble.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/squagoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood together.

Totally nailed it.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pancake_Pollack
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Meditate on it
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OffDutyTaoist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims...

He's a mad keeler!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple’s newest product attaches directly to your face!

Introducing the iLash

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I attached all my watches together to make a belt..

It was a waist of time...

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never attach a watch to your belt?

...because it would be a waste of time

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jRadu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a lift with a sign attached that said "due to an error, this lift can't go down"

My first thought was, "well, that's uplifting"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My son decided to attach a watch to his belt

I told him it would be a waist of time

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dycrno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Met a suspicious guy in a graveyard trying to give me a watch.

The fact a body was attached to it made it a dead giveaway.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.