Atheists Puns

A list of puns related to "Atheists"

I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...

no one believed

it was funny

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👤︎ u/watercolorfiddle
📅︎ Dec 08 2020
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I met an atheist who worked for a charity the other day..

She said it was a non-prophet organization.

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👤︎ u/sup_mike
📅︎ May 25 2020
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Why do atheists give away all their spare money ?

They're a non-prophet organization

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you call an atheist business?

A non-prophet organization.

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👤︎ u/Juractive
📅︎ Mar 09 2020
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My 10yo boy seriously thought I'm an atheist.

Because I was born in the 80's and that makes me an eightieist.

//I'm not making this up.

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👤︎ u/2balls1cane
📅︎ Dec 06 2019
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What did the Atheist say upon dying and meeting God?

Well I’ll be damned.

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👤︎ u/myfirstacctwasbanned
📅︎ Jan 31 2020
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Yo god this atheist!
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👤︎ u/12jd
📅︎ Dec 10 2019
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Atheists

So yesterday my dad opened the door to 2 guys asking for money. They asked him to donate for atheism. My dads reply was this, “I thought Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” They smiled and walked away.

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👤︎ u/ThePessimisticParrot
📅︎ Feb 29 2020
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What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

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👤︎ u/henchy91
📅︎ Feb 16 2020
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How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, they never truly see the light.

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👤︎ u/Midnight_g
📅︎ May 13 2019
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If God had low self esteem, would that make him an atheist?

Because he doesn’t believe in himself

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👤︎ u/sBroz410
📅︎ Jul 05 2019
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What do you call a dyslexic atheist?

A person who doesn't believe in dog.

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👤︎ u/filmfarceur
📅︎ Sep 27 2018
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What's the opposite of an atheist?

A theist

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👤︎ u/demanemotus
📅︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why don't atheist have to pay taxes.

Apparently Atheism is a non-prophet organization

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👤︎ u/bridge_view
📅︎ Apr 29 2019
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My eyeglasses are atheist.

They're skeptical spectacles.

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👤︎ u/this_time_i_mean_it
📅︎ Jan 16 2019
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Did you know autocorrect was invented by an atheist?

He's going to he'll.

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👤︎ u/ryanooooo
📅︎ Nov 14 2018
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Atheists are just people without deitary restrictions.
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👤︎ u/Lostinservice
📅︎ Jul 12 2015
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How do we know spiders are atheists?

They aren't in sects.

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👤︎ u/tuctrohs
📅︎ Nov 17 2018
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Did you hear about the Egyptian atheist?

He was in DeNile

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👤︎ u/kovehshteeble
📅︎ Nov 14 2017
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I'm a Muslim man dating an atheist woman

She's my haram bae

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👤︎ u/rvermilion
📅︎ Aug 24 2016
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Atheists can't solve exponential equations because they don't belive in higher powers
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👤︎ u/jackamo91
📅︎ Jan 15 2017
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An atheist refused to solve a quadratic equation.

Because they do not believe in higher powers.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 18 2018
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Son, do you know why it’s hard to be a dyslexic atheist?

Because your dog doesn’t believe in you.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 03 2018
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As an atheist I firmly believe in no sects before marriage.
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👤︎ u/klingers
📅︎ Jun 07 2017
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A silly nfl world pun. .perhaps better in r/atheist?

If the Vikings QB were questioning his religion. . would Christian Ponder be pondering his Christianity?

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👤︎ u/iwoodreddit
📅︎ Nov 12 2013
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Why are atheists so selfless?

Because Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

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👤︎ u/porkification
📅︎ Dec 27 2016
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What did the Jewish guy say to the atheist?

God Israel

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👤︎ u/JavierEscuela
📅︎ May 16 2016
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What do you call a breath freshener for atheists?

A heretic-tac.

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👤︎ u/r_notfound
📅︎ Nov 26 2014
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What do you call an atheist church?

A non-prophet organization! 😂😂

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👤︎ u/realswagmb
📅︎ Dec 15 2019
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What did the atheist say upon arriving in hell?

Well, I'll be damned!

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👤︎ u/oranje25
📅︎ Feb 26 2019
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What kind of organization is an atheist church?

Non-prophet

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👤︎ u/TheDestroyer575
📅︎ Jan 23 2018
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Why can't atheists solve exponential equations>

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

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👤︎ u/LawOfExcludedMiddle
📅︎ Aug 24 2015
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