I would have a daughter
But Bill kept the Windows
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
And then you will all be sorry.
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
I will find you. You have my Word.
She said how do you know he was headed to work?
“thank you for your cervix.”
Made me smile
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
But now I stand corrected.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
Theoretical Fizz-ics
Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark
I said, “That makes two of us.”
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
Because it'll blow his cover
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
I still have flashbacks
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
