The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
I was arrested for downloading the entirety of Wikipedia
I told them I could explain everything.
Why was the ghost that haunted the pharmacy arrested?
Illegal possession of drugs.
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,
He still has the right to remain silent.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?
Why was the Pepsi employee arrested?
Because he was selling Coke.
Btw this is my first post on Reddit :)
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.”
GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
Why was the pancake arrested?
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
I was placed under arrest for downloading the whole Wikipedia website
I told the officer "Wait! I can explain everything!!"
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
The police arrested a duck.
Fred Flintstone was arrested for drug possession.
Don't worry, he's getting the help he needs. He's already checked into Rehabba-dabba-doo!
Just heard that the Energizer Bunny has been arrested
He's been charged with battery
My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
Did you guys hear about the robot who got arrested?
He was charged with battery
Why was the musician arrested?
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.
I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...
A person was arrested at the special Olympics.
I was arrested yesterday after neighbours complained about me playing Englebert Humperdink records all night
Police released me, let me go!
Me to cop: "You cant arrest me.I have a marathon to run."
Cop: "Stop playing the race card."
Why would a member of The Muppets be arrested?
I got arrested for stealing a calendar
Why was the tree arrested
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
Back in 56' my neighbor was arrested for supporting the USSR...
The officials said it was "a big red flag".
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
Doctor arrested for theft. He checked the purse of his patient.
Proud Dad Moment
Last month, a guy in Cincinnati stole a salt truck and led police on a 30 minute chase. (true story) At one point he tried to dump the load of salt on a police car. I told my teenage daughter this and she looked at me with a straight face and said “I guess they’re going to arrest him for assaulting an officer.” 😁
Never been prouder of my daughter. 😎
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the “Guess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
what was the veterinary arrested for
Why was the chef arrested?
He was caught beating an egg.
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything.
The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.
They held me for a while but eventually let me go.
Two guys were arrested for stealing a single calendar
They both got six months.
My neighbor just got arrested for illegally growing Marijuana.
Turns out my property line is not as far as I thought it was.
Did you hear about the teddy who got arrested for public indecency?
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
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