What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
I have 6 legs, 8 arms, and 10 heads. What am I?
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
What do you call an Italian with no arms?
A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
How do one-armed mothers raise their kids?
We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
A dog stole a skeletons left arm and left leg.
It’s ok, he’s all right now.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a pool?
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places
An armed robber bursts into a store one day.
Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts “hand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”
Cashier 1: “What do we do?”
Cashier 2: “Do what he says, I think he means business!”
I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
What do you call a dude with no arms and no legs who...
...hangs on a wall?
Art
...goes for a swim?
Bob
...sits on a porch?
Matt
...lies in a ditch?
Phil
What Ernest Hemingway novel sees Harry Morgan lose an arm?
My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly on each bicep.
She is infringing on my right to bear arms.
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
I don't know if it's because I injured him or because he has an ice pack on his arm
but Joe has been giving me a cold shoulder ever since our last game
What do you call someone with one arm?
My son came home and said “Dad, I broke my arm in 12 places.”
So I said, “Well, stop going to those places then!”
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm
Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs and he’s floating in your pool?
Bob.
(It’s padre’s birthday and he just dug that one out of the depths of his memory...)
My 7 year old brother lost his left arm in an accident
Dont worry, he's all 'right' now
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
Why is this post similar to an infected arm?
I broke my upper arm falling down the stairs.
It's quite humerus if you think about it.
Why was the clock not worried after getting an arm amputation?
Because it had a second hand.
What do you call karate for amputees?
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He's finding it hard to deal with.
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...
He says to the bloke behind the counter,
“Do you do fishcakes?”
The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.
“Yeah mate.”
Customer points to the cod under his arm.
“Better make him one then mate, it’s his birthday.”
What do you call a guy with one arm and one leg, who sits in front of your door?
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
What do you call a deaf man with a robotic arm
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
The man says "One whiskey for me and one for the road"
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
I went to the doctor and I told him I broke my arm in two places.
He said stop going to those places
What is a guy with no arms, no legs, to the wall?
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, “A beer please! And one for the road!”
A mime in my town was arrested after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the sea?
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