Liam Gallagher argued that soup was the best value meal you could get, because
So, I was debating this guy about world peace, and he argued that whirled peas sound disgusting!
I think that's called an ad homonym attack.
Two people went on a hike and came across some tracks. One argued they were foxes and the other said they were a deers
They were still arguing when the train hit them tho 🚞
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
The Beach Boys never argued because their days were filled with harmony.
My wife and I argued for hours about what pillows we should have for our bed.
It was all pillow talk though, nothing was thrown.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
I argued against spelunking...
My friend and I argued whether or not you can make tea out with salt
They insisted I was being dumb but,
I think they were just being salt-tea.
The football player argued that it was a horse-collar tackle
The ref said “neigh”
(My Dad just told this joke while watching the Ravens game. The other dads in the room laughed.)
Why do Italians always argue?
Because they want to give you a pizza their mind
Barbie and Ken are continually arguing over who will empty the dishwasher. One day, Ken says "Barbie, I've unloaded the dishwasher every day this week.. can you PLEASE do it just this once?"
Dad told me, "Remember these 3 little words: Don't Argue."
I said, "That's only two words," and he yelled "You're starting already!"
Two grammarians were arguing;
it was a case of a tense mood engendering a number of negative aspects.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Why do people argue about wearing masks?
They worry about losing face.
I was arguing with my dad about how median is the best average.
He just doesn't agree with me. I think he is a very mean person.
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
A cannibalistic tribe was arguing about which person they should eat first...
...when a frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.
He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?
Last night I was arguing to my wife about who should keep our children in the divorce and I got angry and threw some trifle at her
She ended up getting custardy
What do you call two people arguing in a sauna?
My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
Why should you never argue with a knife?
Because it will always have a point
PS, this was inspired from a comment I saw on an instagram post, and also I apologize if this joke has already been posted as I did not take the time to check if it has been.
When birds argue...
...do they use fowl language?
Don't argue with cacti. You'll lose.
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
What does Wonder Woman do before she goes to bed?
I hate arguing with blind man
I can never understand their point of view
3 Cannibals were arguing over how to eat a missionary they captured.
Cannibal 1: We should boil him!
Cannibal 2: We should roast him on a spit!
Cannibal 3: No! Can’t you see he’s a Friar?!
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.
Repeatedly shouting “Let that sink in!”
I hate arguing against circular reasoning
Just yesterday, daughter was arguing over dishes.
I told her she didn't have to open that can of worms, and we wouldn't be trying to de-bait now.
I walked away laughing, and daughter face palming.
There’s this notorious serial killer that will argue with you till you die.
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.
We're all in the same oat.
3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body
1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity
2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one
3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.
I’m not sure why people continue to argue and complain about Star Wars
It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
Saw an Adam & The Ants tribute act
I said “you’re not Adam Ant!”, he said “yeah i am.” we argued all night, but he really was adamant.
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
Tall guy and a short guy were arguing
They just couldn’t see eye to eye
You can't argue with deaf people
They won't listen to reason
What do you call a serial killer that will argue with you til you die?
Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...
...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!
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