Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts arenβt aloud
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
Jokes about murders aren't funny
Unless they're properly executed, that it.
π︎ 297
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Sales are down, so my boss asked why the greeting cards aren't moving
I told him it's because they are stationary
π︎ 104
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Why aren't koalas considered bears?
Because they don't have the koalafications.
π︎ 97
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Doors usually aren't rude
but if you bump into one, it might start swinging.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Puns arenβt the aphrodisiac I thought they were.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Why aren't pretzels counted as bread?
Because they're knot-bread.
π︎ 806
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I recently found out that noble gasses aren't much for comedy
I tried firing all my best jokes at them, but I just couldn't get a reaction...
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle?
Because the parrots eat 'em all...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
STOP π calling yourself a communist if you aren't Russian!
It's Karltural appropriation
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Why aren't statisticians particularly funny?
Because the median function usually suffices. No need for its complement, the comedian function.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
The folks who live in my town arenβt allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.
Mostly because theyβre not dead yet.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
My friend told me, "Did you know trees drop edible stuff, that aren't fruit?"
"That's nuts." I replied.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Women convicts aren't released before they menstruate
This way, there's a period at the end of the sentence.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, βYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, arenβt you?β
She said, βYeah.β
I said, βI knew it!β
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Where do you go to get books that aren't true?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
Communism jokes aren't funny,
unless everyone gets them.
π︎ 167
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
The mountains aren't just funny, they're
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Poop jokes arenβt my favorite kind of jokes...
But theyβre a solid number 2!
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Why arenβt there any patrons in the gym on Sundays?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
Most math puns aren't very funny
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Ewoks aren't meant to be left outside...
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
French fries arenβt cooked in France
Theyβre cooked in greece
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Did you know people aren't allowed to laugh out loud in Hawaii?
They are only allowed a low ha.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Candles aren't so nice
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Hey Sir, police jokes arenβt funny!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Those teachers arenβt mathing around
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
My grandma told me Holocaust jokes arenβt funny.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
My legs arenβt made for walking
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Jokes with crappy three-word punchlines that rely on irony aren't funny
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Why arenβt depressed people worried about flat tyres?
They are always carrying despair.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.
But they are a major second.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Why aren't there any short chefs anymore?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Why arenβt there any COVID-19 cases in Antarctica?
Because theyβre all ice-olated.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Mountain ranges aren't just funny...
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Why aren't inside jokes funny? [OC]
Because they can't think outside the box.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Some people aren't shaking hands because of the Coronavirus.
I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Mar 09 2020
Why aren't Australians hoarding toilet paper?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funnyβ¦"
π︎ 75
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
mountains arenβt funny, theyβre hill areas π₯Έ
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Mountains arenβt just funny
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Poop jokes aren't my favorite..
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Did you know french fries arenβt originally from France?
They were first cooked in Greece.
π︎ 101
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funnyβ¦"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Poop jokes aren't my favorite
But they're a solid number 2
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
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