What’s the worst crime to commit in arbor society?

Treeson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKingOfFault
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I propose extending Arbor Day to 72 hours.

It really should be a tree-day affair.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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The Arbor Foundation asked my dad if he'd like to take a survey about their trees.

He said he wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dogsaretheanswer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Since Arbor Day is coming up, my local tree nursery is running a 2-for-1 special

Buy-1-get-1-tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/richthefunkmastr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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My daughter wants a long board and I asked her about brand names. She talked about Arbor, Quest and some others. I told her stay away from "star" because it always pulls to the right.

"port is left and starboard is right... get it?? huh? huh??"

"Sadly dad,, I do.."

discussion was by text.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjvlv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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Did you hear about the woman who was charged with illegally culling trees?

She was arrested by The Special Branch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Have you heard about the new chocolate arboreal marsupial bioluminescence?

It's cocoa-koala light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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A lumberjack went into a magical forest to cut a tree...

Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted "Wait! I'm a magical tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said, "And you will dialogue".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManOfTheInBetween
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Where do boats carrying wood go?

The arbor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigkodack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Did you hear about the tree surgeon who was found to be hiding escaped convicts up trees in his garden?

He was charged with arboring criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I think...

I probably failed my arboreal safety exam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What’s a pirates favorite holiday?

Arbor Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Dad planting trees in the backyard...

Come home, see my dad planting trees in the backyard... I ask, "How do you know where to plant the trees?" Dad says, "It's arbortrary".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheechoo13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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A dad joke so bad (good?) it killed my brain

My family is on the mailing list for the National Arbor Day Foundation, so we get begging letters from time to time.

In the most recent one, there was an additional flier that had the phrase "Hurry! You don't want to leave behind all the great benefits of being a member of the Arbor Day Society!"

I was immediately disappointed that they didn't say "You don't want to LEAF behind..." I then got SUPER excited to tell this joke to my wife who was in the other room, so I run in to tell her the joke, but by that point, I was so jazzed about the leaf pun, I completely forgot the rest of the phrase, so all I could babble out was (and this is literally what I said) "Something something LEAF! Something something something," all the while giggling like a madman. I have not heard the end of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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