Lightning MuhQueen.
The main frames are key
Teamwork makes the Dreamworks
I really enjoy watching the end credits.
Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer).
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.
My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit ➡I'm watching it with her, and halfway through the movie something clicks in my head.
Me: "Holy shit I just got it,this is a bunny cop movie"
GF: ......
ME:" instead of a buddy cop movie"
And then she proceeded to beat me
The plot is Gilbert Gottfried playing himself is sent back in time to kill Stalin (also played by Gilbert Gottfried). But Gilbert ends up slowly falling in love with Stalin as they bond over things like pancakes shaped like barn animals and making snow angels. The movie ends with Gilbert and Stalin getting married and raising two kids named Jenny and Egor (played by Gilbert Gottfried) in the suburbs with their golden retriever, Rex (played by Gilbert Gottfried)
I stepped out of the shower and my girlfriend was watching The Prince of Egypt, an animated movie about Moses. A musical number is about to begin and she tells me, "Good, you're about to see the best part! Moses found out he's Jewish and he's in denial."
"Why'd he get back in the Nile?" I said. She gave me a confused look followed by a disappointed sigh. Her underlying hatred of me grows with every dad joke. Had to share it with you guys.
Hey there /r/Puns! I'm working on a pop-culture table-top card game similar to Story Wars for me and my friends, and am trying to think of a punny name for the title! The current name is Crossover Mania, but we can all agree that that's terrible, so please help me out!
The game will be mostly battles/challenges between 2 characters, and the game will include characters, items, locations from comics, movies, anime, cartoons, games, etc.
I'm also going to be using some puns for certain cards' flavor texts, such as for Spider-Man: Fun Fact: He has a bit of a web addiction.
"Did you hear about the new movie, Constipation?"
"It hasn't come out yet."
&
"This guy went to a zoo. The only animal they had was a dog."
"It was a shih tzu."
We drove to Florida from the midwest for vacation last week. After fun in the sun all week, it was time to go home on Saturday. We had lots of movies for our 3 kids to watch including Hugo, which they had never seen.
My 3 year old doesn't like movies that aren't animated so as soon as she saw I was getting Hugo she starts up the whining: "I don't want to watch that, waa aah" and so on. So I turn around in my seat (the wife was driving) and say "We'll then, why don't Hugo to sleep."
