If you live in America, then you're an American except when you're in the bathroom

Then European.

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Sep 03 2020
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I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.

So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.

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📅︎ May 25 2020
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My dad dropped this one after my mom went to my brother's parent teacher conference

Mom: Luke, Ms. _____ says that you're doing very well in class except for one thing. She says that when you do work, you're rushin'. So just try your best to take your time.

Dad: Luke, when you go back to school tell your teacher that you're American, not Russian.

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👤︎ u/jbbeefy57
📅︎ Nov 06 2013
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