Dad: so at the ball drop we all have to put our left leg in the air

Me: why

Dad: so we can start the new year on the right foot!

Me: why are you the way that you are

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👤︎ u/JonisJive
📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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My son blowing up a beach ball says,

as soon as I am done, I'm gonna catch my breath.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Ahuva
📅︎ Jul 21 2015
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My friend took up juggling and now he never hangs out with us

Says he has too many balls in the air

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Sep 17 2019
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Dad for the win last night.

So my family and I are all gathering around the TV watching the Notre Dame & North Carolina basketball game last night, when out of nowhere my dog starts dry humping the air.

It's absolutely hilarious when he does it, and it all never fails to make everyone laugh hysterically. Take in mind that my dog is neutered so he's super horny but, obviously doesn't really no what he's doing since his baby makers were chopped off. Anyways, my brothers trying to get him to come to him and he's just sitting there looking at him with this his devious little dog face.

Angrily, my brother says,

"He's probably so disobedient because you guys had to go and cut off his balls."

Everyone nodded their heads agreeably, except my dad who mumbles,

"Yeah Matt, that must explain why he never comes."

👍︎ 29
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👤︎ u/Huv
📅︎ Mar 28 2016
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