I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Pomerania simmers, waiting to bubble over with discontent from the lower nobility. They served their liege and God faithfully, and when defeated swore their oaths to the new Duke Hohenzollern. Instead of peace, they now face a blanket confiscation of their properties and rights. These changes echo ones that have been occurring in Brandenburg for decades now, as the Hohenzollerns have centralized power at the expense of the nobility. Indeed, even Saxony isn't safe as the Elector there begins to undertake a project similar to that of the English Domesday Book. The lower nobility simply see it as a way for the Elector to seize greater authority over their taxes and possessions. Indeed, the northeastern reaches of the Empire face an acute version of the decline of Imperial Knighthood in general. On this heaping mound of straw, all it takes is a single match to set a fire.
That match comes outside of Stettin, where a pair of Margraviate officials are killed while serving notices to a rural manor. During the discussion, a mysterious masked rider and half a dozen comrades quickly approached and without a word cut down the men. Within days, the spark becomes a blaze as loyalist estates are sacked by a quickly growing army of Gryf supporters who call for the restoration of George I to the Pomeranian throne. By now the masked rider's identity has ben revealed to be Agnise, the Hero of Stettin who had been responsible for cutting down the invader Joachim. Within weeks, the now 2,500 man strong army has moved east, "seizing" Kolberg and Koslin and now advances on Stolp.
Soon after the Pomeranian revolt begins, the ever more disenfranchised nobles of Brandenburg make their move as well. Secretly meeting in Stendal, they establish a charter founding the 'Knightly Convent of the Ostmark', and soon after begin a revolt. Their demands are to place Albert on the throne, ending the disaster that has been Elizabeth's regency, as well as a restoration of their privileges and rights taken away over the last decades. This 2,000 strong force is centered in Stendal.
Finally, with all this talk of noble rebellions, a more modest one breaks out in Electoral Saxony. More a direct rejection of the Domesday project being undertaken, they simply seek an end to the project and minor concessions, echoing their northern neighbors. They hold no major cities, but are dispersed throughout the countryside.
tldr; Knights Revolt!
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
