e: gets an acute injury
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemiBlu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Therapist: It seems like you have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: Can’t say that I do.

Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids fought for a long time over a device to measure angles

It was a protracted battle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatherBeSkiing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever hear the tale about the angle less than 90 degrees?

It's acute story...

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an acute angle today and thought

"Something isn't right"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monsterlooster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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What acute tattoo
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aschwede318
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
That’s acute sentiment.
πŸ‘︎ 283
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to my doctor because I had some abdomen pain. He confirmed β€œit looks you have acute appendicitis”

I replied β€œThat doesn’t sound very cute to ME, doc...”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikelln
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Acute kidney failure
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duke9000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Some guy just approached me and refused to leave until I solve a trigonometry problem.

I have no idea what his angle is.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like rectangular shapes

i prefer triangle because they're kinda acute.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure

I’m just glad it’s not ugly

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_ina_fantasy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Snowy pun :)
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kacsaminator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I want tibia your Valentine because you are so acute! (thanks Museum of Science Boston!)
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonniebo421
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Math pun.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DSpeed4s
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?

Because it’s parents wouldn’t cosine

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-pee-blood
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
so im sick with acute bronchitis and my dad comes into my room

he says "here you go coughy boy"

and hands me a cup of coffee..

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dafrostedflakes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
"Acute Bronchitis"

My friend saw a doctor recently after he was dealing with a cough for a while, so he was telling us about the diagnosis.

My friend: "Guys, I've got acute bronchitis."

My other friend: "That's not that cute."

groans

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geehusky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
🚨︎ report
I needed help to lease out a math textbook.

So I got a cosiner.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cimiclette
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Look, it's the pentagon.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pancake_Pollack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, I'm cold.”

β€œGo stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees.”

πŸ‘︎ 565
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My son drew a polygon with three edges and three vertices with angles less than 90Β°...

It was acute triangle, I must admit!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Cute
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PachaFerrera
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Hospital Visit

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.

Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the line go to the gym?

Because it wanted to get in shape.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate it when kids these days write β€œangle” instead of β€œangel.”

They are just trying to be edgy.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told me he was cold...

So I said β€œGo sit in the corner, it’s 90 degrees over there.”

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/towntown1337
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad will be telling Dad Jokes till the end...

Quick backstory, my Dad was rushed to the hospital last night with an acute pericardial effusion. Of course, we didn't know the cause at the time, so when the Doc came into my Dads room in the ER to tell him what's going on and what they were going to do, emergency surgery, this is how the conversation went...

Doc: Mr FloatyMcBoatFace's Dad, You have fluid building up around your heart, an Acute Pericardial Effusion, and we have to go to surgery right away to get that fluid out of there.

My Dad: Well, good thing it isn't an Obtuse Pericardial Effusion...

The entire family groaned. The Dr and Nurse couldn't help but laugh after a few seconds of what I assume was shock.

Anyway, he seems to be doing fine, he's still in the hospital under observation though.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FloatyMcBoatface
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Go stand in the corner.

My teacher dropped this one in math class today.

Girl: it's so cold in here

Teacher: why don't you go stand in the corner

Girl: [confused look] why?

Teacher: because it's 90 degrees over there

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafflizer5000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
If you get cold this winter, try standing in the corner of a room

it's usually 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BecauseItAmusesMe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of triangle should you ask out?

An acute triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dittmerdude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
For the geometry enthusiasts.

I wanted to post a photo of a triangle on r/aww because it contained acute angle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchUser900
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The geometry teacher went to Hawaii

When he came back, he was a tan gent

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatRiddled
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you get when two angles get into a crash?

A Rectangle

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GalacTech
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
What’s the dirtiest word in geometry?

Hypotenuse, because it is between two legs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeegrounds55
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Therapist: You have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Me: I can’t say that I do.

Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor: I think you have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I can’t say that I do.

Doctor: Exactly. That’s the main one.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor: I think you have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I can’t say I do.

Doctor: Exactly.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My son's math teacher called him average

I just think he's mean

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad I’m cold

Go to the corner. It’s 90degrees

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oopswhyamiherern
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to flirt with a math teacher?

You use acute angle. However, I'm probably just being obtuse.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the warmest part of a house?

The corner because it’s always 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexbeltran43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Pickup pun: If you were a triangle,

you would be an acute one

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JunChaa
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re cold stand in a corner

They’re usually 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathdeb8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?

It was over 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonoGamez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an adorable angle?

Acute angle

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPoon23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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