My wife is part of the Italian military and was declared "missing in action". I don't know how to tell my kid so I just said

MamΓ‘ M.I.A.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smeag969
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do frogs like action movies?

They're ribbeting.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giniobeast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2022
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If napkin-makers ever take collective action against their employers, the resulting organizing structure should be called β€œthe serviette union.”
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2022
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How did the one injured stunt double greet another injured stunt double on the set of the live action Lion King?

Scar Brother!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NationYell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did only one quarter of the Norwegian sailors rush to action?

The heard all hans on deck

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canuck_4423
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
🚨︎ report
Sylvester Stallone was hosting his annual 80s Action Heroes get-together.

Stallone said, β€œI’m making a movie about famous composers and I’m playing Beethoven.”

Van Damme quickly chimed in, β€œI’ll play Mozart.”

Schwarzenegger said, β€œStop is guys. I’m not saying it.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stay-Thirsty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2022
🚨︎ report
My son informed me that the lightbulb in his bathroom went out. I told him to go get his Star Wars action figures.

Like I explained: "Mini Hans make light work."

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunetikPrugresiv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2022
🚨︎ report
what is a dog's favorite action movie?

Indiana Bones: Raiders of the Lost Bark (source: Google joke of the day)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nermalbair
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2022
🚨︎ report
Father of six here… my kids love dad jokes at the dinner table. Mom is less enthusiastic. Today, my eleven year old decided to get in on the action: β€œwhat are twins favorite fruits?”

Pears… And then he proceeded to fall out of his chair laughing. Meanwhile mom wants to know how she could’ve tested for this before getting in too deep.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NJPhillips01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2021
🚨︎ report
If spaghetti made an action movie what would it be called?

MISSION: IM-PASTA-BLE

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeverTheSadOne
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2022
🚨︎ report
Who is every woodland creature's favorite action movie actor?

Vin Weasel

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaDuggy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2022
🚨︎ report
What did Mario say when he found out his mom was missing in action?

Mama MIA! (credit to u/_fashionablyLate - Fashionably Late Comics.)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2022
🚨︎ report
Say what you will about Will Smith's action

But you got to admit it was a bald move

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hillelpash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2022
🚨︎ report
Perfect for non-start action
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Here's an old one I still chuckle at: There's an upcoming Hollywood action film about classical musicians...

The cast, made up of high-profile action stars, were choosing their roles.

Sylvester Stallone went "I want to be Mozart!". Bruce Willis said "Then I'll be Beethoven!" and Jean -Claude Van Damme, "I'll go with Tchaikovsky".

After a moment of silence, Arnold Schwarzenegger stood up, looked at everyone in the room, and said "I'll be Bach".

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenthehuman6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm filing a class action lawsuit against the major diaper companies.

Their products don't hold anywhere near the 22-37 pounds advertised on the package.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said she really wanted to become a Live Action Role Player…

I said that sounds great just change your name to Cindy Larper

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtd11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The right hair style will get you lots of action.

It's quite the afro disiac.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebocsid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Who is the action star that is made of machine?

Jean-Claude Gundam

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaijisheeran
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you see the class action lawsuit against that company that makes decorative pillow covers?

It was a sham trial

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0dt3k
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend and I are working on a tight deadline in our Dracula action figure business.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I had a little fling with a lady I had recently met, and I couldn’t help but notice something interesting on her bedside table. It was a support structure that helped keep a little armor-clad action figure standing upright.

I guess it was my one-night stand’s nightstand’s knight stand.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Some Nextdoor action imgur.com/a/gwJCTJz
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beethovensnowman
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?

Aisle B, back

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Got a email today from a 'Bored Housewife, 32, looking for some action."

I've sent her my ironing. That'll keep her busy.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Which car is most like a Star Wars action figure?

The toy-Yoda.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My friends say I make too many action movie puns.......

I told them I can't help it, old habits DIE HARD.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dark_Byte
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Voting is democracy in action. Not voting is democracy inaction.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleazyDutcham
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.

They were already assembled.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMilesM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas

I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in charge of editing an action movie, I noticed an unnecessary scene that was only slowing down the plot.

So I decided to just cut to the chase.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megaWatson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!

It’s called The Greatest Snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do action heroes do when they die?

They drop kick the bucket.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burpmeister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.

It was a bond movie

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hornyonion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally see why people don’t like the live action DC films!

Because they don’t do the heroes justice

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xulphyr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Here we see two birds of prey in full action

Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.

I handed her the dictionary.

πŸ‘︎ 472
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 435
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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