I think I have an abnormal addiction to ducks...

My wife says I'm a quack head

*My son, a dad of a 3yr old, made this up when I told him a dad joke from this sub. He has achieved full dadness

Edit: typo

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📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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My husband said the baby hadn't slept AT ALL when I was gone, which is abnormal.

I told him, "the baby...is resisting a-rest."

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📅︎ Feb 22 2020
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The fact that my abs are normal is abnormal ...
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👤︎ u/DopePotato
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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Spring is in the air
👍︎ 23k
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📅︎ Sep 14 2019
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We were crazy busy at work today. Abnormally busy and someone had taken the day off...

So we were short handed. I looked at my boss and said:

"Next time we're going to be short handed, I'll make sure to bring my longer hands."

It was a really stressful day for everyone. I'd like to think her thoughts of how much of an idiot I am at least helped her blow off some steam.

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👤︎ u/The_Sven
📅︎ Feb 24 2014
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My dad has 6 toes on both his feet.

It's a feetal abnormality.

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📅︎ Jun 11 2019
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You know about the weird guy who did very few crunches at the gym?

He was pretty abnormal.

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📅︎ Oct 08 2018
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Dad joke in ER

Last night, my girlfriend's grandma was admitted to a nearby hospital for a heart rhythm abnormality. The admitting physician was a great guy, and concluded his admission assessment with a spontaneous, and entirely unrelated, dad joke.

"Did you hear about the two burglars who stole a calendar? They each got six months."

He promptly dropped his stethoscope and left. Boom.

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📅︎ Feb 18 2014
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Dad overheard my friend talking about how many ab exercises he does...

Wow, you're pretty hardcore.

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👤︎ u/baconvader
📅︎ Sep 29 2014
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