A list of puns related to "A Carol Christmas"
Id call it Marley and Me.
It hurts like the Dickens.
A hearse.
Silent night.
Do you hear what I hear?
I said, "Son, forget the past, you can't change it.
"And forget the present, because I haven't bought you one".
Now donโt you feel bad for singing โO Commie, Commie Manualโ all those years?
It is my jingle bell rock.
It'll be your jingle bell rock
..."Don, we now are gay apparel."
She went as a Christmas Carol.
The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him โThis is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.โ He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining โjingle bellsโ in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. โRudolphโ โFrosty the Snowmanโ โDrummer Boyโ even โI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clausโ in the best impersonations heโs ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. โ No no honey this works watchโ he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. โNO honey it really works watch!โ โIm going to bed, Merry Christmasโ says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. โWAIT Honey, one more time, please!โ He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out โCHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIREโ
Every year for the past few years, Iโve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last yearโs music was titled โTubaChristmas in July,โ which had โHallelujahโ by Pentatonix, โCarol of the Bells,โ โYouโre a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,โ and โHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.โ This year Iโm about 90% sure weโre doing rock/classic rock. So far I have โBohemian Rhapsodyโ by Queen, โPaint It, Blackโ by The Rolling Stones, โLivinโ on a Prayerโ by Bon Jovi, โDonโt Stop Believinโโ by Journey, and some fifth song I havenโt chosen yet (BTW Iโm open to song ideas).
I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesnโt include song names, but you know itโs Christmas music on tubas.
I was showing my dad some pictures from my trip to Europe. He saw a picture of a rock covered with moss and said, "I'm lichen that!"
For Christmas dinner we were having ham. The plate of carved ham was between my dad and I. Someone asked where the plate went. My dad says,"We're hoggin' it."
There was a store in my home town called carols cedar cellar. It was damaged in a flood and they knocked the building down exposing the basement. We drive by and my dad says,"Now you can cedar cellar."
I have so much to learn.
I was asked to help chauffeur a carload of youth around town for a Christmas caroling activity last night. One of the names on the list was Jack, who lost his wife earlier this year. Jack is in his early 90's, stands about 5'2, and is quite possibly the king of all dad jokes.
So, the group of about 25 kids and 5 adults sneak up to his doorstep and begin singing a few short Christmas carols. Eventually, he opens the door and is thrilled to have visitors.
After we are finished singing and the kids are all running back to the vehicles to get out of the 15 degree weather, jack steps out of his doorway and on to his porch. He is wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants... he was setting us up, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.
Woman: Are you freezing?
Jack: No, I'm not freezing, I'm Jack (pause for laughter)
Jack: but if you hang on for just a minute, I can get freezing for you.
and then he just stood there smiling at us. It was precious. Come to find out, Jack is entering a retirement home in a few days because he is getting to the point that it is hard to take care of himself anymore.
Oh boy, those nurses are in for a treat once Jack gets settled in.
Unpacking groceries into the fridge, the fridge starts with it's alarm that the door has been open for too long (jingle bells)
Me: I wish the fridge would shut the hell up! Step daughter: it's a smart fridge Me: well if it's so damn smart, why the hell is it playing Christmas carols in May.
Groans where heard throughout the house
It hurts like the Dickens >_<
It hurt like the Dickens.
The holly and the I.V.
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