You sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician
pop
If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a βteethbrushβ
You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta
Cause I think it is rad.
So we stopped playing chess.
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
I'm the new CIEIO
Sas-scotch
A couple of hours later, I text my wife
"I don't want to alarm you, but I'm the hospital"
edit: the original message
Yeh it was a vicious cycle!
My mum was so happy that she got a great bargain on pasta from the shop.
So I had to follow up with, yeh you couldnt go pasta deal like that.
insert canned laughter from me
Yeh, it's full proof.
Backstory: Family friend has a new job, he's an Undertaker. He was in hospital because of a serious lung infection.
Dad: 'By the way [family friend] is an Undertaker now'.
Me: 'what!? Of all jobs I would have never have guessed that'.
Dad: 'yeh it surprised me too, he was in hospital not too long ago and was in a bad way'.
Step mother: 'yeh he had something with his lungs, an infection I think like pneumonia, almost killed him' .
Dad: 'doesn't surprise me though with him being in hospital, probably because of all that coffin'.
Dad: starts giggling to himself.
Me: 'really?...'.
Dad: 'what? I thought that was quite good'.
He has his moments.
Mum: Does your friend know you want to buy it from him?
Me: Yeh he's holding onto it for me until I can afford it
Dad: His arms will be very tired by the time you can afford it.....
I normally telegraph my jokes, but this one was totally natural... Talking to my wife about my sister's upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and how they were going in May...
Wife..."have talked to your sister about crowds because of the opening of Pandora at Animal Kingdom?"
"Yeh, they are going down opening weekend, but skipping Animal Kingdom completely, I bet it's going to be a real zoo there..."
Edit
Obligatory eye roll and groan.
"Holy crap, I didn't even do that on purpose!"
Her: "What's with all this horrible plasticy cheese on top?" Me: "Ah yeh it's not great is it? You could say its a little below par-mesan."
She sighed and made her best attempt to look disappointed in me.
