Dude 1: Hey bro Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you hand me that pamphlet?
Dude 2: Brochure
Two guys at a bar order drinks. The first says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "Yeah, I'll have some H2O too."
The second guy died.
I want to push you around, yeah I will. I want to push you down, yeah I will. I want to take you for granite, yeah yeah yeah...
Rob Thomas volunteers to help the wheel chair bound elderly remodel their kitchen.
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
Yeah, I work out. I do one sit-up every day.
When I get up in the morning, that’s half. When I lie back down at night, that’s the other half.
"I've got ants" "Oh yeah, well I've got taller ants"
"Ok, well, I've got a tube of glue"
"Ha, I've got an entire tin of glue"
"I've got... Bread"
"Damn it, you win. I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants"
Yeah, you’ve heard of bad dad jokes.
But be glad you haven’t heard of grandpuns.
First time, don’t bully me
Dad, showing me his pinky : "Did you know that the Chinese don't have that finger ?" Me : "What ? No." Dad : "wanna know why ?" Me: "yeah"
It's because it's MY pinky.
My friend texted me saying he jumped off a tower, I said yeah right...
He says ‘I’m dead serious!’
Dr: do you smoke? Dad: yeah dr: cigarettes, Marijuana?
Mostly brisket and pork.
This is the Rythm of the night!! The night!!! Oh yeah!!!
Yeah, I know it's called the coronavirus...
...when they could have called it the KUNG FLU
Roofing a new barn with my daughter. "Hey, you know that song about women roofers?" (No....) "Yeah you do - Shingle Ladies."
It's on the album "The Roof is For Hire"
Dude 1: “Hey bro?” Dude 2: “Yeah bro?” Dude 1: “Can you hand me that pamphlet?”
Dude 2: “Brochure”
