It really put the willy's up me....
He's known as Willy Wonky.
Butt willy?
I thought he said trains and I missed mine
When he was handing out noses
I thought he said roses so I asked for a big red one
and he gave it me too
When he was handing out willies
I thought he said chillies
So I asked for a small hot one
Please add more below.......................
It's "Willie Nilly Nelson"
Senor Willy
Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".
Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".
Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".
They’re between a willy and a chocolate factory
With his willy ham
Spruce Willis (Bruce Willis)
Matthew Mahogany (Matthew Maconahay? Tell me how to spell it)
Mirk Russel (Kurt Russel)
Clint Oakwood (Clint Eastwood)
Benedict Lumberthatch (Benedict Cumberbatch)
Ashwood Kutcher (Ashton Kutcher)
Birch Reynolds (Bert Reynolds)
Russel Branch (Russel Brand)
Dwayne "The Log" Johnson (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson)
My 9 year old daughter upon seeing the movie Free Willy available on Netflix: Dad, what's Free Willy about?
Me: Freeing Willy
The look she gave me about made me want to to die hahaha.
Many years ago, Red Skelton told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump Lump.
Willie explained to the young lady, “I keep a mongoose in my coat pocket. That way, when I go home after drinking, and there are snakes all over the lawn of my yard, I let the mongoose loose and he kills them all, so it’s safe for me to enter the house.”
The young woman sadly tried to explain, “I’ve got news for you, Mr. Lump Lump, those snakes are imaginary!”
Willie Lump Lump replied, “I’ve got news for you, so is the mongoose!”
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/willie-lump-lump-and-the-mongoose/
It's by Willie Makit and Betty Wunt.
Bartender: "Hey buddy, you know you have steering wheel attached to your Willy?"
Pirate: "Aaarrrrr.... It's driving me nuts."
Me: Free Willy
Wife: I said "orCHIDS"
Me: Baby Free Willy?
Wife: Shame on you
Me: No, but Shamu would work
*Posted on mobile, please forgive formatting issues
The first guy replies, “Oh, Willy?”
I was talking about music with a friend, when this bit of conversation happened:
Her: I really don't like country music.
Me: How come?
Her: I don't know. It just gives me the creeps.
Me: So, you could say it gives you the Willie Nelsons?
Her: ...
Her: You're horrible.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
"I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and it gave me a craving for a chocolate bar so I went and bought one. This is probably why I should stop watching Breaking Bad."
Looking for some Celebrity Christmas puns such as "Wreath Witherspoon," "Spruce Willis," "Judy Garland."
...fundarnmental_ePuns are here. (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fundarnmental_ePuns/) Now you can submit all the willy wittiest photos wordplay for all the world to see!!
This looked like a good place to x-link this, hope I don't get punished for it...
One evening, I was on Teamspeak talking with a few people I know; one of them being a German guy called Willi.
He's gone away from the keyboard for a few minutes and someone asks where he is. A friend of his jokes that he's probably jerking off to porn.
To which I replied "Are you trying to tell me he's playing with his Willi?"
Cue groans from the entire channel.
~100 Yards to the Outhouse, the True Story of Willy Maket by Betty Dont
~One Legged Woman by Eileen Offtin
~The Yellow River by I.P. Freely
~Stripper Bliss by Ivana Taketoff
~Lines in the Sand by Dick Dragon
Free Willy.
"6,000 years? Willie Nelson is older than that! They should know better!"
