Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Have you heard that there are some people who are against Vietnamese soup?
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︎ Dec 09 2020
If you ask me who 31 of the NFL teams are, I couldnβt tell you.
But I always Remember the Titans.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
If you're feeling unsure of who you are...
https://preview.redd.it/refjtnw55sm51.jpg?width=2480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3ceee6f8ac7217251280d77204f9efd653364b8
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you call the few pimps who are characters in The Walking Dead?
The Four Whoreβs Men of the Apocalypse
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Her: No boo, I meant who and said your name. Ray: Why are you booing me?
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︎ May 03 2020
I went camping and a grizzly approached me. I was terrified. I was about to run, but the grizzly stopped and said, βyou will die in 10 days.β I replied, βwho are you??β
He said, βI hate to be the bear of bad news.β
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Scrooge awakens in the night to an apparition; he asks: βWho are you?β His dead gastroenterologist responds:
βI am the ghost of gasses passed.β
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Are you the guy who stole all the sweet potatoes?
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Did you hear about the scientists who discovered there are bank clerks on the moon?
They saw them through their teller-scopes.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Who are you?
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︎ Jan 08 2020
My father-in-law (who's last name is Word) after a week of travel: Are you getting sick of the Word "family"?
Me: That's an odd word to get sick of.
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︎ Dec 24 2019
This guy comes up to me at the karaoke bar and asks, "Are you the guy who spends all night singing Neil Diamond songs?"
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︎ Feb 07 2020
A miner was on their way to work in their new car, when a police officer stops them and asks: "where are you going, where do you work, and who's car is this?"
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︎ Dec 14 2019
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︎ Feb 02 2020
Don't you hate those people who come to your door and tell you that you will 'burn' unless you are 'saved'
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︎ Sep 30 2019
For people on this sub who are thinking of getting married, consider this carefully before you do.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you donβt.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
Who are you when you're walking to the bathroom, when you're in the bathroom, and when you're out of the bathroom.
When your walking to the bathroom you're Russian, when you're in the bathroom European, and when you're out of the bathroom your Finnish.
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︎ Oct 17 2019
A Spanish doctor recently coined a new term for people who are incapable of feeling empathy. You know what they call it?
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︎ Jan 17 2019
Who Do You Think You Are, Runnin Round Leavin Scars
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︎ Dec 19 2018
What do you call a woman who has 4 sons that are all CEOs?
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︎ Sep 01 2014
What do you call two worms who are in love with each other
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︎ May 06 2019
Do you know who are the Klingons natural enemies?
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︎ Dec 14 2018
She walks into the bachelor party. βWho are you and where did you come from?β I ask.
βIdahoβ, she answers.
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︎ Mar 23 2019
What kind of tea do you give to people who are suffering?
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︎ Aug 04 2018
You could say that cars who have a lot of miles are...
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︎ Mar 23 2017
You are a super villain who can scream supersonic classical music, you name is Bach the Fuck up. Would you rather rob banks for a living, or would you rather cause random chaos in the streets?
reddit.com/r/WouldYouRathβ¦
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︎ Oct 20 2018
What do you call poor sports who are drunk?
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︎ Oct 19 2018
Hopalong Happychopper walks into the saloon and the bartender says, "Howdy stranger, ain't seen you in these parts, so you must be here to watch the hanging!" Hopalong looks the bartender menacingly in the eyes and replies, "Nope, but seeing we're talking, who are you hanging?"
The bartender responds, "Well, ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown Paper Rattler mighty high, even the angels are gonna hear his neck break!"
Hopalong asks, "Why they call him Brown Paper Rattler?"
The bartender chuckles, "Why, old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks."
Puzzled, Hopalong then asks, "So why you hanging him?"
...and the bartender replies, "For rustling."
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︎ Feb 04 2019
You can never trust someone who says they are a quarter millionaire.
You donβt know if they have $250,000 or $1,000,000 in Quarters.
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︎ Mar 04 2019
βDad, do you think mom will ever come back?β βWho knows son, women are fickle creatures.β βSheβs been gone so long. Do you miss her?β
βI do son, but men arenβt allowed in the ladies changing rooms.β
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︎ Feb 22 2019
Say what you will, the people who deliver us letters are our future.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
What do you call a massage therapist who believes men are inherently better than women?
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︎ Sep 30 2016
What do you call dentures who are easily offended?
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︎ Oct 18 2018
Have you heard about the 80's pop duo who are now working in cereal distribution?
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︎ Nov 22 2017
My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.
and optimists see glasses as half full.
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︎ Feb 06 2018
Did you hear about the music group that is consisted entirely of members who are HIV positive?
They call themselves The Band-Aids
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︎ Jun 28 2018
What do you call two doritos who are in love?
Happily in a relationchip
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︎ Aug 13 2018
My dad and I were watching basketball the other day when his dog (Sophie) hopped up onto the couch beside him. He turned to her and said, "Who are you rooting for Sophie? The underDOG??!!!"
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︎ Jun 17 2018
You could say trees who are trying to start a new life...
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︎ Aug 18 2017
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
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︎ Dec 18 2016
A police car pulls over a miner and asks: What do you do for a living? Where are you going? Whoβs car is that?
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︎ Nov 05 2018
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