What do you call a white horse?

Mayo-Neighs

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StokyoDrift
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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What color was Napoleonโ€™s white horse?

Well I think it was white

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lenny-McLenster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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So a White Horse walks into a Pub....

......the barman says โ€œainโ€™t that a coincidence, our pub is named after you!โ€ โ€œWhy did you name your Pub Eric?โ€ the horse replies.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cwwspurs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

A horse walks into a bar. "Hey" says the barman. "Yes please" says the horse.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/1963_jan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Did you hear the one about the white supremacist who was great at taking care of their horses?

He was a Veteran Aryan

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/penny_eater
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Hereโ€™s a really dirty joke....

A white horse fell in mud

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wormholewanderer1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A horse walked into a bar ...

A horse walked into a bar, the barman said "Hey" the horse replied "Sure"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JDPComedy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
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So a farmer has trouble telling his two horses apart...

He cuts the tail of one of them and that works for awhile, but it eventually grows back. So he cuts the mane off the other one and that works, too, but that grows back and once again he is stuck.

Finally he decides to measure the horses and discovers that the black one is a foot taller than the white one.

[real joke told to me by my dad]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GameNWatch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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My dad on the new female Thor

"Marvel to introduce female Thor. Women's status in comic books has gone from bad to Norse."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Novawurmson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: โ€œHey, weโ€™ve got a whisky named after you.โ€ The horse replies: โ€œWhat, George?โ€


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. โ€œEveninโ€™โ€ says the barman, โ€œwhy the long face?โ€


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: โ€œWait you canโ€™t come in here without a tie.โ€The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: โ€œThis alright?โ€ The barman says: โ€œHmm, okโ€ฆ but donโ€™t be starting anything.โ€


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: โ€œI shouldnโ€™t really be drinking this with what Iโ€™ve got?โ€ โ€œWhy, what have you got?โ€ โ€œAbout ยฃ2 and a carrot.โ€


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside Whatโ€™s a horseโ€™s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. โ€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,โ€ he asks The vet replies: โ€œOf course you will, and youโ€™ll probably win!โ€


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry, sir,โ€ says the barman. โ€œWe donโ€™t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. โ€œExcuse me, good sir,โ€ the horse says, โ€œare you hiring?โ€ The manager looks the horse up and down and says, โ€œSorry, pal. Why donโ€™t you try the circus?โ€ The horse nickers. โ€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?โ€


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? โ€œIโ€™ve fallen and I canโ€™t giddyup!โ€


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horseโ€™s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? Iโ€™ve fallen and I canโ€™t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud.

I always hated this joke. Figured I'd let it torment you too.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pickle2tickle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dralnu22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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My Dad's go to joke

Whats black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KevinTheEwok
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
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Dirty Dad Joke

After my little brother told me a vulgar joke and my dad heard it:

Dad: Not bad, want to hear another dirty joke?

Bro: Yea sure

Dad: Three white horses fell in the mud.

(Dad starts cracking up as he walks away, brother shakes his head and goes back to PS3)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iamPandemic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sontrii
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A white horse in a mud puddle.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Adolf_Hitler_-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Wanna hear a really dirty joke?

A white horse fell in mud

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Disco_Stu_39
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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My dad's favorite dirty joke.

A white horse fell in the mud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scalzo19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Want to hear a dirty joke?

Four white horses fell in some mud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kaidendeck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scamperly
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2014
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