A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.
She was a real party pooper
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.
He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
How do crabs get to school?
They use the side walk!
- came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
Definitely not how you want to get to school
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
When I was at school I had it tough. Other kids would throw lumps of gold at me.
I was a victim of bullion.
A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
My daughter claims her school is huanted and wanted to call the ghost busters.
I told her to call the cheerleading squad instead. Figured they might know the school spirit.
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
My draught told me she has a new friend at school named Tia.
I replied, "Does she cry a lot?"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
why did the m&m wanna go to school?
because it wanted to be a smartie
There was a kidnapping at my local school today.
It’s ok though, he woke up eventually.
Two big girls walk into a bar
Two big girls walk into a bar
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies *"Wales!"*
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
She had an interesting name but she tortoise well
I realised I was the poor kid at school...
....when I was the only one who turned up to band practice with a shoe horn.
There was a kidnapping today at school
Luckily he woke up before the teacher saw him.
School is easy.
I got 360 degrees just by moving in circles.
My dad was ready to roll in on the jokes when coming to pick me up after school in his "DIY self-driving" car. Everyone knows though...
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?
It cost him an arm and a leg...
I always tell my kids to stay at school.
But they keep coming back.
I just hooked up with a reclusive girl on Tinder...
What's the most dangerous class in school?
Music Class. Too much violins.
My boyfriend actually came up with it this morning and I'm having a hard time believing it hasn't been said before. I tried looking it up in this subreddit and google and haven't found anything yet lol.
Went out last night and scored with this girl really easily
Guess she just wasn’t a keeper
My son is starting school next year but is scared because he thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.
I reassured him, "Don't be silly! Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
Old school 90’s Ravers aren’t worried about the gas shortage.
They’re used to running on E.
A press conference was held with the lead of the school's administration about bullying
He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal
Last Halloween a girl dressed as the grim reaper came to my door with messy hair and asked me politely to fix it.
That night, I had a brush with death.
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
Did you hear about the fish that fell asleep in school?
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
When I was in elementary school, I learned that "when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking".
I think that rule is graet.
I went to astronaut school but flunked the zero-gravitas test.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
Schools...
I don't know what they're teaching kids in schools these days. I asked my son what rhymed with orange, and he said nothing. Nothing? Those two words don't even sound alike!
After all this home schooling, my kid finally lost control
While shopping for school supplies I came across a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words as well.
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
I used to date a Welsh girl who had 32 D’s
It was a ridiculously long name
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the local school?
It's fine now, he woke up.
Do you know how to get a farm girl to like you?
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