Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life!
He was down to earth
A space heater
You go to the corner 🙈
Cause it’s Sunday…
Now I'm homeless
Took its cloves off
Cuz they're tired
Sage advice
Proving the earth is flat.
The man of steel learned the hard way that you can't have your cape and heat it, too.
What a re-leaf!
I get so excited I wet my plants.
You add an extra coat
h/t Geico commercial!
Probabili-Tea
It keeps on breaking the ice.
A Peach Cobbler
Swarm.
Offspring.
Because in the end it doesn't even lather
You jacket
Well that’s a re-leaf
I can’t have my kayak and heat it too.
Luckily, seasons don't fear the rapper.
it would be cooler if they did
It was relieved.
I think this is original?
"Teach a man to duck and he'll never walk into a bar!"
So there was a man who considered himself the greatest fighter in the world. Every time he got in a fight growing up, he'd win, and it would never even be close. Eventually he ran out of people in town to fight, and he decided that he'd travel the world, looking for all the best fighters, and beat them in combat.
He travels to Japan, China, India, Russia, France, Ireland, going all about the world, fighting everyone who thinks they're the best fighters in the world- and beats them easily. There's no real sense of competition, he just defeats every challenger in humiliating fashion.
But travelling the world looking for the best fighters takes a lot of time, and there's always another person thinking that they're the best fighter in the world, so he issues a challenge to anyone in the world who thinks that they're the best fighter to come to his house and fight.
The day arrives, and HUNDREDS of people have shown up. All of the best practitioners of all the world's martial arts have shown up. There's a group of judoka from Japan, Israeli Krav Maga artists stretching out on one side of the room, the Muay Thai artists are doing light striking to warm up- everyone seems represented here. The guy who started all this says "OK, there are a lot of you here, and the only way we'll be able to finish this today is if we group you all up by discipline, you all form a line, and I'll beat each of you in turn."
So he starts with the wrestlers, who line up one at a time. One at a time they come at him, and none of them last longer than a minute before having their shoulders pinned to the ground. Not only do they all get beaten, but it seems like this guy is actually winning his fights faster as the day goes on! Some of the fighters from the other disciplines watch this display, and they start leaving.
The guy looks at his watch, and realizes that three hours have gone by in fighting the wrestlers. So he gestures to the Muay Thai artists and says "I'll now fight you, but I'll fight you four at a time!" The Muay Thai fighters figure they can knock this guy out quickly, then settle the honor of who the best fighter is amongst themselves, so they line up four by four, rush in, and in a flurry of elbows and knees, they all end up knocked out on the ground. Four by four the Muay Thai fighters rush in, only for this guy to remain standing after all of them. This is intimidating to the other fighters who are watching, and more people start heading home.
H
... keep reading on reddit ➡I immediately reply with "well yeah, he just got out if the oven"
About womb temperature
She hit the roof!
But the flag has a few pluses!
You add spring water
Definitely one of those days where you’re cracker-lacking!
With paint. Put on two coats.
"Swarm."
Carbohydration
Go to the corner because it is 90 degrees
Edit: It just feels so right
Space heaters.
Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Cuz they're tired
Now I’m homeless
