A list of puns related to "Turtle shell"
Look for shell-ter
A homeless shell-ter.
and make it snappyβ.
I hated eating anywhere with him, now I think itβs funny. Help, Iβm turning into my father.
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but Iβm 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, βConstipationβ? Well it doesnβt matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said βNo, doc, itβs dis knee.β
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donβt cause reactions, after all.
Whatβs the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why canβt you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donβt wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I canβt stop reading books with female protagonists! Iβm a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight⦠21.
My friend told me, βPeople who sell meat are disgusting!β So I said, βYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!β
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondβ¦ ionic bond. βTaken, not shared.β What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santaβs sleigh cost? $0, itβs on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
Iβm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iβm outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatβs the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatβs just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit β‘Can u guys help mi with this one :) need it for my presentation.
A coworker and I were talking about how turtles act when they're on their shells and how some people do it them on purpose. Coworker says, "it's sort of like cow tipping. Have you ever tipped a cow?" And I shook my head and said, "I've never even been served by a cow." He then punched me in the face and walked far, far away from me.
Ok I might have embellished that very last part.
After the fireworks, we were gathering up our things to leave. She asked if her new turtle was OK. I picked up its little carrier, peered inside, and said, "It looks a little shell-shocked."
Side Note: I'm older and moved out of the house and I find these jokes funny now. I just found this sub and wanted to share a piece of my childhood.
When I was around 10 years old, I jumped in a pool and instantly started shivering. My dad looks at me and says "Did the turtle go back in the shell?"
Another time, my older brother was making a sandwich and had it finished sitting on a plate on the counter. My brother turned around to put the stuff away in the fridge and in that minuet my dad walked up stairs grabbed the sandwich and walked back down stairs.
The turtle that was swimming there swam away, frightened. Guess he was shell shocked.
There was a turtle & a hare. The hare went up to the turtle & said "Wanna race home?" Thinking he would easily win. The turtle Agreed and the hare said "ready, set, go" and then the turtle went into it's shell and the hare said "SHIT!"
P.s. Here is my dad delivering the punchline https://vine.co/v/he7l7xUQia6
girlfriend sees turtle stopped in the road and cautions me not to hit him. I response with "he probably got shell shocked."
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