Yet another job lost to machines
πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeMrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My Wife Constantly Asks If I’m Listening to What She’s Saying

Such a weird way to start a conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?

They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-

2021

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
That cat isn't truthful

He's lion!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Ant thats the truth
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jqlrogksn2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.

The people believe in Fake Moos.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themiracy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What candy tells the truth?

...a nestle speaking

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Former VP made A movie called An Inconvenient Truth

But he should have started a band named the Al Gore Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elusivblak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
the truth is what we need
πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awal0124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I once saw two men quarreling because both claimed that his family name is Fuck and the other is lying. After seeing their IDs, I found out that only one man was telling the truth, the one with the first name What.

What, the actual Fuck.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s something you should know... The truth is I’m dying.

Doctor says I may only have 40-60 more years.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/undercover723
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife insisted she has nudist genes

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/S93C141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
He really is saying the truth doe
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memesgmm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth is out!
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theveganmoth
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I can never tell the truth when I'm in bed...

Because once I've made the bed, I have to lie on it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Harsh truth.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6yo girl: our Shih-Tzu never tells the truth

Because he’s a lyin’ dog...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Tell me the truth, are you?
πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/albanianbitchee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Where is truth produced?

In the fact-ory.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Technically the truth
πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...

... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglehawk2011
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth about duck tape
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The truth has been revealed
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: "Undress me with your words."

Me: " Ive just seen a huge spider go down your top."

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?

When it makes a False move.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zxphenomenalxz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D1amondcrusher1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Had a chance to get frisky with the wife this morning, but my alarm went off.

I guess I got clock-blocked.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blue_cole
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It was my cake day yesterday...

To tell the truth it was pretty crummy

PS: it was, and it was PPS: looking forward to the real joke in the comments.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caprica_City
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
That one harp never told the truth

He was known to be a lyre

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashnakag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I can't handle the truth

What a liar!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Irony....

Is getting pregnant on a pull-out couch

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OMIKRON621
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....

St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."

He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"

The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".

St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"

The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."

"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"

The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".

"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
6 months and still no reply. They’re afraid of the truth
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kellyann59
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The hard truth
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/free_30_day_trial
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Whether or not you get infected with COVID...

I’m sure we’re all sick of it by now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatisaginger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the angry lie say to the truth?

FACT U!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a senior-ranked military officer who offers nuggets of factual wisdom?

The Colonel of Truth

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CopsaLau
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Thats the truth right there
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rypper12345
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The hard truths.
πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcastichedgeh0g
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the rumor about butter ?

Well, I''m not going to spread it

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I said "kansas" like "kansaw" like you know, how "arkansas" is pronounced, and once my bf told me the truth, i spent my life seeing who would correct me and it wasnt suprising.

I was told a long time ago your true friends will be honest with you, especially if it's not something that will hurt your feelings really bad.

So this life long joke of "kansaw" was only ever corrected by boyfriends, best friends, and family. Others were people thinking i meant "warsaw" in which i frantically said oh no no no!

I made a point to be say this one main line like "omg can a tornado in kansaw just suck me out of this"

"Maybe i should move to Kansaw where its just wind and tornadoe shelters"

I tried to make it come up organically as possible though.

But the other times where people said nothing, some of these people good friends, now have a joke behind my back but i had it behind their backs first....

Life is fun

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashhtreeee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The truth is that neither love nor money that makes the world go round

It’s F=G(m1m2)/r^2

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
An untold truth...

... Its untold

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/griefcase69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Major Spoiler
πŸ‘︎ 441
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.