You could truthfully call a badly-put-together orgy a clusterfuck.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corndogman5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.

We'll see about that...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
The truth about bruised bananas

is they're simply unappealing

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The shocking truth of why 6 was afraid of 7 revealed here.

7 was a Registered 6 offender.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a house that always tells the truth?

Real estate.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnowledgeOfMuir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Technically the truth.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mk4rim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call a robot that only tells you the truth?

A fax machine

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chillyproductions
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Ant thats the truth
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jqlrogksn2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
That cat isn't truthful

He's lion!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was a captain in the Army Reserve. She told me she had a promotion and asked me to attend the ceremony. I don’t know much about the Army,

...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?

They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
the truth is what we need
πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awal0124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-

2021

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Yet another job lost to machines
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeMrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.

The people believe in Fake Moos.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themiracy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I once saw two men quarreling because both claimed that his family name is Fuck and the other is lying. After seeing their IDs, I found out that only one man was telling the truth, the one with the first name What.

What, the actual Fuck.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Former VP made A movie called An Inconvenient Truth

But he should have started a band named the Al Gore Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elusivblak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What candy tells the truth?

...a nestle speaking

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Easter egg hide.

To tell the truth, deep inside he was a little chicken!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
He really is saying the truth doe
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memesgmm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife insisted she has nudist genes

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S93C141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about monkeys and typewriters

Dhsbarbejdjeindnejen wj2jnsjsj s nsjsdodpqlqlq3l

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juan-punch_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
The truth is out!
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theveganmoth
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I can never tell the truth when I'm in bed...

Because once I've made the bed, I have to lie on it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Harsh truth.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Biden?

A law a-biden citizen.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My 6yo girl: our Shih-Tzu never tells the truth

Because he’s a lyin’ dog...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth about duck tape
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Tell me the truth, are you?
πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/albanianbitchee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Technically the truth
πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Where is truth produced?

In the fact-ory.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, β€œIt’s out of this world ... radical!” he exclaimed.

In truth, it was just rad-ish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth has been revealed
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My Wife Constantly Asks If I’m Listening to What She’s Saying

Such a weird way to start a conversation.

πŸ‘︎ 200
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D1amondcrusher1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The hard truth
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/free_30_day_trial
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
6 months and still no reply. They’re afraid of the truth
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kellyann59
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?

When it makes a False move.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zxphenomenalxz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My blind friend kept lying to me...

It was hard for him to see the truth

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
That one harp never told the truth

He was known to be a lyre

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashnakag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Thats the truth right there
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rypper12345
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I can't handle the truth

What a liar!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The hard truths.
πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcastichedgeh0g
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...

... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglehawk2011
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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