You could truthfully call a badly-put-together orgy a clusterfuck.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 26 2018
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
The truth about bruised bananas
is they're simply unappealing
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
π︎ 29
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
The shocking truth of why 6 was afraid of 7 revealed here.
7 was a Registered 6 offender.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 06 2021
What do you call a house that always tells the truth?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
Technically the truth.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
How do you call a robot that only tells you the truth?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
Ant thats the truth
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
That cat isn't truthful
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
My wife was a captain in the Army Reserve. She told me she had a promotion and asked me to attend the ceremony. I donβt know much about the Army,
...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?
They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
the truth is what we need
π︎ 114
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Yet another job lost to machines
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.
The people believe in Fake Moos.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I once saw two men quarreling because both claimed that his family name is Fuck and the other is lying. After seeing their IDs, I found out that only one man was telling the truth, the one with the first name What.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Former VP made A movie called An Inconvenient Truth
But he should have started a band named the Al Gore Rhythm.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
What candy tells the truth?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Why did the Easter egg hide.
To tell the truth, deep inside he was a little chicken!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
He really is saying the truth doe
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
My wife insisted she has nudist genes
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
You know what they say about monkeys and typewriters
Dhsbarbejdjeindnejen wj2jnsjsj s nsjsdodpqlqlq3l
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
The truth is out!
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 13 2020
I can never tell the truth when I'm in bed...
Because once I've made the bed, I have to lie on it.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Harsh truth.
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 21 2020
What do you call Biden?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
My 6yo girl: our Shih-Tzu never tells the truth
Because heβs a lyinβ dog...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
The truth about duck tape
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 04 2019
Tell me the truth, are you?
π︎ 137
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
Technically the truth
π︎ 90
π
︎ Jan 04 2020
Where is truth produced?
π︎ 97
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, βItβs out of this world ... radical!β he exclaimed.
In truth, it was just rad-ish.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
π︎ 109
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
The truth has been revealed
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
My Wife Constantly Asks If Iβm Listening to What Sheβs Saying
Such a weird way to start a conversation.
π︎ 200
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
The truth
π︎ 48
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
The hard truth
π︎ 92
π
︎ Jun 05 2019
6 months and still no reply. Theyβre afraid of the truth
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 09 2019
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?
When it makes a False move.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
My blind friend kept lying to me...
It was hard for him to see the truth
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
That one harp never told the truth
He was known to be a lyre
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Thats the truth right there
π︎ 55
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
My doctor told me I can't handle the truth
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
The hard truths.
π︎ 122
π
︎ May 02 2019
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...
... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.
π︎ 118
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.