Son: 1, Dad: 0

http://imgur.com/FNc6UJQ

(Not sure how certain we can be that these types of posts are true stories but they're sure hilarious)

馃憤︎ 1k
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馃懁︎ u/Quest-
馃搮︎ Feb 13 2014
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Punographic dad jokes

In true Dad joke fashion, my father emailed me this list of puns

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
路 When chemists die, they barium. 路 Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
路 A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
路 I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
路 How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
路 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
路 This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
路 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
路 I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
路 They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
路 PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
路 I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
路 A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
路 When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
路 What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
路 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
路 Broken pencils are pointless.
路 What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
路 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
路 I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
路 I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
路 All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
路 I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
路 Velcro - what a rip off!
路 Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

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馃懁︎ u/zjp_716
馃搮︎ May 19 2014
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