My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
Better treat it gingerly!
How does United Airlines treat their passengers?
How do Pirates treat sunburn?
A dermatologist who treats boils without charging...
...would be a freelancer.
*me binge eating Christmas treats*
Jesus Christ what have you done to me!
You can tell how people feel about your jokes by how they treat your gate.
If they leave it alone, they like your jokes. If they steal it, they've taken a fence.
Going to treat myself to Velcro shoes, instead of laces.
Why does HP treat it's assembly workers so badly?
Because if they lovedcrafting them, they'd become eldritch horrors
As a newly qualified vet, I'm now allowed to treat animals.
Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.
What was Michael Jackson’s favorite treat?
My son is going to therapy in order to treat his aibohphobia
He is even scared of saying it
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
What do they call cat treats in japan?
I treat unknown dogs like a phone call...
I always check the collar ID
Some children treat their parents like god.
They acts like they don’t exist until they want something.
My wife said I can't treat people like objects.
I'm not so sure I can live with that.
How does a simp doctor treats his patients?
While I was walking the dog, our 4 yo was harassing my wife for a treat. She texted “She’s trying to get a popsicle out of me.”
I responded “But you’re not a freezer.”
I could feel the eye roll down the street.
Why didn’t the vet treat the eagle?
When a guy I know meets people, he says he likes to treat them to shark fishing on his boat...
He says he's gotten a lot of chums that way.
My wife treats me like a baby, both in the bedroom and out.
She's my significant other mother.
What is a dyslexic person's favorite movie treat?
I went into a pharmacy today and asked them “what can I get to treat the coronavirus”. The girl replied “ammonia cleaner”
“Oh sorry, I thought you worked here”
I just hired a full time valet, and I found that people really treat you differently.
He has opened a lot of doors for me.
How will we treat the Coronavirus in Macau?
Hand me Maphone and I'll call Mavet.
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
Them: Don’t treat women like objects
Me: Women women = new Women();
An evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
I went to a French hospital and the wouldn’t treat me.
Apparently they have a rule where your bps must be zero over zero or infinity over infinity.
Treat your wife to a night out
FDA releases a new warning for black licorice this trick or treat season.
I dont have any real ladders...just my step ladders....but I treat them the same...
My kids treat me like God.
They ignore my existence and only talk to me when they need something.
what kind of doctors treat sick fish?
My wife treats me like god
She ignores my existence and talks to me when she needs something
My wife was complaining that I treat like her a child.
So I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself.
My dad is opening a store selling farm tools and frozen treats.
It's called Pop's Sickle Stand
In my grandparents time, an orange was considered a treat from Santa. Now kids want an apple.
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house...
My wife said to me: ''Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?''
So I took her out to dinner, to a movie,
then I dropped her off at her parents'
place.
My wife asked me "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating ?''
So I took her to dinner, then a movie and dropped her off at her parents' house
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