I discovered a treasure trove of old dad jokes my grandfather had stashed away for future generations...

It was a virtual corny-copia of wit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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How do you find Lil Wayne’s treasure?

Ya dig!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisawesome33
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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A man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks...

"Do you sell flip flips ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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My wife's an absolute treasure...

By that I mean, you'll need a map and a shovel to find her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?

Because X marks the spot

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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Why does no one know where the pirate hid their treasure?

Because it's a seacret

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowlz13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Every ancestor inherit treasures to their bloodline

That explains why I have so many hereditary diseases.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Why won't the shrimp sell his treasures to the fishes?

Because he is shellfish.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Why did the pirate put pants on his treasure?

To hide his booty!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Pirates of yore would get a treasure chest off a looted vessel and often hear voices coming from the chest saying "yoo hoo!"

It was the booty calls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Yesterday, I was digging in the garden when I found a buried treasure chest!

I ran inside to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KittenWarlord87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Which pirates dig up the treasure?

Arrrrchaeologists

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamePlayXtreme
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My friend Victoria told me she found secret buried treasure.

But she wouldn't tell me under where.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hensfan85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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A pirate keeps his treasure in his pants

That's what holds his booty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gitrikt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I’ve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and he’s such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BushyEyes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Why did the pirate bury a painting of their past relationship, with their treasure?

Ex marks the spot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Local businesses name puns, always a treasure
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBubIII
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?

Because he was a little shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cool-kid103
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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When the treasure hunter had excavated down six feet, he realized he had made a grave error
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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What did they call the movie where Matt Damon looks for thrift store treasures?

Goodwill Hunting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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What's a pirates favorite form of treasure?

A tiYARRa. πŸ‘‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesubordinate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Pirates found a trove of treasure and brought four chests aboard...

They put them in the hold and, as it was fair weather, didn't strap them down.

However, as they sailed on, they hit a storm, the ship knocked back and forth.

The captain went down to check on the treasure to find it sliding around the deck.

As a crewman asked how bad it was, the captain replied...

"Booty! Booty! Booty! Booty! Rocking everywhere!"

[This is probably my worst joke yet]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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A walking treasure chest full of gold grabs a random man and hands him over to a polite redditor. Redditor says:

Thank you for the stranger kind gold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanu_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure

Eggs marks the spot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarch3092
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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What kind of water keeps you from the treasure?

A Loch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MerkNZorg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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What's a female pirates favorite part of shore leave?

Taking off the sea cups.

(My wife actually should get most the credit)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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What did the treasure hunt organizer say when people couldn't find the impressionist painter he'd hidden?

That wasn't very cache Monet of you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weirfish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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One man's junk is another man's treasure. If they're gay.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kindulas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself β€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, β€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts β€œtree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. β€œWell I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, β€œAhhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping β€œbulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. β€œWELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman β€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says β€œoh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbacconnn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Why did the pirate get back with his Ex?

Because that’s where he buried his treasure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-samantor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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How do puppy pirates look for treasure?

They sniff out the booty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WHARRGARBLLL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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Did you know that Iceland...

...is only one sea away from Ireland?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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Airplane (1980) was a treasure trove of dadjokes. imgur.com/QXny0zc
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mybalzich
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
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My Dad's comic strip- a treasure trove of Dad jokes

For example: http://robbieshort.com/images/Ug_Sun_EatInTakeOut.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_beat_goes_on
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
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I can never go out in public again, but I will treasure this one forever.

After I let one rip with moderate force, my dad responded by bellowing out (in a crowded restaurant) "SPEAK ON SWEET LIPS THAT NEVER TOLD A LIE!". I turned a lovely shade of puce, and made every effort to show that I had never seen this strange man before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freedom_or_bust
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
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Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?

http://imgur.com/hJn6KzC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrandonPewPew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2015
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A confectionary treasure.

Christmas was at Mom's house this year. She has to buy at least 10 lbs of sugar to make all the treats and candy that everyone wants. She has all of the candy and pies and things on the counter in the dinning room. As family members arrived and everyone made their way passed the dinning room my niece(14) came in.

Her: You've been standing in here for a while.

Me: Yup, it's the sweetest spot in the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/123_Syzygy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
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Dad's at it again. Borderline unacceptably dad-joking the Denny's waitress.

family walks into Denny's

Waitress: "Welcome to Denny's! Just five of you today?"

Dad: "Yes, four adults, one child."

Waitress: "Alright, would you like a kids menu today?"

Dad: "No thanks, I just had three. They were delicious."

-_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BroccoliCabbage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
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my son just became a father last week,

so i know it was finally time. i went to his house and gave him my most treasured gift: my book "1001 Dad Jokes" he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said " thank you so much, im honored" which made me start crying. i responded with the only thing i could say "hi honored im dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyTheShyGuy
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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This is a treasure trove of dad jokes huffingtonpost.com/2013/0…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NGA100
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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My son just lost a tight race in his primary election after I was physically withheld and denied the right to vote.

Sucks. He would have made a great second grade treasurer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? (X-post /r/jokes)

Aye Matey!

EDIT: Yarr Thanks far the treasure laddy, I do love me some gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pcc93
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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What did the accountant do with his newborn daughter?

Treasurer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kirkauburn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2014
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Lost If Found:

Water-tight bundles of untraceable drug-dealer cash.

Lost somewhere on the beach between West Palm Beach and Nag's Head, NC.

Also, loose pirate treasure of gold or silver.

Sentimental value. Small reward offered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "Rrrrr!" But his first love is always the "C"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasusBellyBell
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasures?

Because it was shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NDB05_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?

Because he was a little shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?

Because he was a little shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohi0109
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2017
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