Got up this morning and ran around the block five times

Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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When I was a kid, my Dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was greedy and came up with the β€œbrilliant” idea to ask for 10 thousand bucks instead of a toy so that I could buy heaps of toys.

To my surprise he shrugged and said sure.

On Christmas Day, I excitedly tore open my gift box. To my anger and disappointment, it only contained 10 plastic toy pigs and deers.

β€œDaaaaaddd!!!!” I wailed in tears.

Dad gave me the biggest shit-eating grin and said β€œWell, I got you ten sows and bucks just like you asked.”

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkHonnor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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My wife saw it coming. The cashier did not.

While shopping with the wife today, we found a Lego set on our niece's wishlist that was even cheaper than Amazon. So, naturally, we jumped on it. Going through checkout, I looked at the box, then I looked at my wife. All I said to her was that I hope she would forgive me for what I was about to do. Her response: "don't you dare."

Fast forward 15 seconds, and it's our turn in line. As the cashier is about to scan the toy, I pointed out that the set has 446 pieces. "Is that ok for the 10 items or less line?" My wife quickly told her to ignore me.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spongebue
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
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Dadjoke scares toys'r'us employees.

Today at the local toys'r'us with my SO and the kids. We approach two teenagers restocking the shelves from a pallet full of cardboard boxes. I hear one of them ask the other if she has seen the knife. The other says no, an I notice they're searching for it. As we pass i ask if "they're looking for one of them retractable knifes?"

Her: "Yes"

Me: "I think i saw a kid running around with it over there" *points with thumb over my shoulder

Her:...-...! *face turns white

My SO: I'm sorry he's joking. Arrrg! 2rgeir can't I take you anywhere?

Me: *snickering

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2rgeir
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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I'm trying to keep fit during iso, so this morning, I ran five times around the block.

I was so tired afterwards that my son had to put it back into the toy box.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.

Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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