Satisfactory.
What's the catch?
No strings attached.
It's a nice lolly.
…but their flag is a big plus.
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
If nobody's home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table
The second guy died.
It's always been my Achilles elbow
Niagara False
Scene: kitchen, mother buttering scones as I converse with her. One breaks apart.
Me: "it's all scone wrong!"
Cue groans
http://i.imgur.com/BWAHZzK.gif
From /r/gifs, here.
I have letter magnets on my fridge so people can spell out messages. For some reason my dad put up "YOYO TRICKS". I'm completely baffled by what this is supposed to mean. So I ask him and he replies "What's a yo-yo trick?" The first one to come to mind is "walk the dog". He was telling me to walk the dog.
He's a veteran Aryan.
My brother and I are in the waiting room at the ER while my dad is back in the ER room texting us about what's going on. I wasn't sure if the ER was the same as the ICU. MY. My dad couldn't hold back.
http://imgur.com/sKewAWG
I liked this sub a lot more when there was less traffic and mostly just text submissions. Now half of what I see is just shitty facebook screens shots that are almost guaranteed to be fake and aren't even considered a 'dad joke'.
Anyone else notice how this sub has exploded over the past 2 or 3 months?
My dad used to live in a trailer, so there was close proximity from the "kitchen" to the front door. I was sitting on the couch and reading something, when I ask my dad where something was, I don't remember what. Without hesitation, he replies, "Hold on, I have to prepare a toast.", and he takes the freshly burnt toast from the toaster, turns around, and throws it out the door. It was the greatest thing I'd ever witness him do, and he didn't even get why I was laughing.
