Tom Hern Puns

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Housekeeping:

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#Covid violations

Republican extremist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (GA) was fined again last week for refusing to wear a mask on the House floor, marking the 22nd penalty the congresswoman has amassed since last summer. Each violation is now costing her $2,500, taken directly from her congressional pay. The total cost of Greene’s refusal to mask-up has exceeded $50,000, nearly a third of her official salary.

>"You have been observed not wearing a mask on July 29, August 2, September 20, 21, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, and October 1, 12, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, and 27, and have been asked by a member of my staff to wear a mask while in the Hall of the House of Representatives on each occasion unless recognized to speak by the chair," [House Sergeant-at-Arms William] Walker wrote in the letter.

Greene declared her defiance on Newsmax on Monday, claiming she has been fined over $60,000 (clip):

>She's fined me over $60,500 in mask fines. I refuse to wear a mask! And, Chris, I have to tell you something else: I am not vaccinated and I will be standing strong, standing up for the people across this country that refuse to get vaccinated.

Fellow Georgia Republican Rep. Andrew Clyde was also fined last week, bringing his total to more than $30,000 for Covid violations.

Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Republican from Texas, joined the pair in the fined-for-safety-violations club last month when the House Sergeant-at-Arms cited (pdf) him

Housekeeping:

• HOW TO SUPPORT: I know we are all facing unprecedented financial hardships right now. If you are in the position to support my work, I have a patreon, venmo, and a paypal set up. No pressure though, I will keep posting these pieces publicly no matter what - paywalls suck.

• NOTIFICATIONS: You can signup to receive a once-weekly email with links to my posts.

#State Dept. blockade

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) continues to effectively block almost all State Department nominees, including 59 ambassadors and critical national security positions. Only one ambassador has been confirmed amidst the obstruction: former Sen. Ken Salazar, now the US Ambassador to Mexico.

>“It’s really an undermining of the nation’s national security process,” said Bob Menendez, Democrat of New Jersey and the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. “What we have here is an unprecedented, blanketed holding of all nominees — regardless of whether they have anything to do with the policy issues at stake.”

>“That is not something I have seen in 30 years of doing foreign policy work” in Congress, he added. “This is unprecedented.”

While Cruz cannot unilaterally block nominees, he can and has objected to the normal procedure of confirmation, thereby requiring hours of floor time to confirm each nominee—and taking away from pressing matters like infrastructure, debt ceiling, and government funding bills. Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) managed to confirm six important State Dept. nominees in the past week by clearing hours of floor time.

>Mr. Cruz and his allies insist he is taking a principled stand on Nord Stream 2, a gas pipeline project from Russia to Germany that has long been an issue of high interest for him… Cruz accused the Biden administration of showing “weakness” toward Russia. He has since exploited Senate rules to turn confirmation votes — even generally routine ones, for career foreign servants headed for relatively midlevel jobs or low-profile ambassadorships — into hourslong exercises.

*Reminder: Cruz did not hold nearly the same concern for former President Trump’s weakness toward Russia. For example, in 2019 Cruz [voted](https://www.texastribune.org/2019/01/17/texas-congress-

Veľa miest na Slovensku rieši zákaz resp. reguláciu hazardu. Názory sú protichodné. Mesto aj štát na tom zarábajú, na druhú stranu, vyberá si to svoju daň na ľudských osudoch. V Nitre a v Bratislave to riskli. Taká Žilina či Nové Zámky zas hrajú mŕtveho chrobáka.

Porozprával som sa preto s odborníkom - psychiatrom, ktorý dlhodobo lieči patologických hráčov. O nástrahách hazardu, patologických hráčoch, ich liečení, vplyve na mladých ľudí a ďalších veciach súvisiacich s touto témou.

• Aký druh hazardu preferujú starší a aký zas mladší hráči.
• Aký je záujem o liečbu a koľko sa zvykne na liečenie čakať.
• Aký vplyv môžu mať na vývoj človeka herne v jeho okolí.
• Či by sa mal hazard podľa odborníka na patologické hráčstvo regulovať.
• Či sa dajú mladiství chrániť pred reklamným vplyvom hazardu.
• Či je vedenie zoznamu ľudí, ktorí nemôžu do herne vstúpiť, dostatočným opatrením.
• Aké situácie vplývajú na patologických hráčov tak, že si uvedomia svoj problém.
• Ako je patologické hráčstvo spojené s fenoménom sociálnych sietí.
• Koľko trvá taký proces od prvej návštevy ambulancie až kým si človek môže povedať, že je abstinentom.

Čítajte viac: https://mynovezamky.sme.sk/c/22714154/odbornik-na-patologicke-hracstvo-regulacia-hazardu-je-urcite-na-mieste.html

Here are the names of every Republican senator and member of Congress who voted to sustain objections to certifying the electoral results in two states where Trump lost, Arizona and Pennsylvania, despite no evidence of fraud. The full House tallies for each vote are hereand here; the Senate votes are here and here.

In the Senate:

• Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
• Josh Hawley (R-Mo.)
• Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-Miss.)
• John Kennedy (R-La.)
• Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.)
• Roger Marshall (R-Kan.)
• Rick Scott (R-Fla.)
• Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.)

In the House:

• Robert Aderholt (R-Ala.)
• Rick Allen (R-Ga.)
• Jodey Arrington (R-Texas)
• Brian Babin (R-Texas)
• Jim Baird (R-Ind.)
• Jim Banks (R-Ind.)
• Cliff Bentz (R-Ore.)
• Jack Bergman (R-Mich.)
• Stephanie Bice (R-Okla.)
• Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.)
• Dan Bishop (R-N.C.)
• Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.)
• Mike Bost (R-Ill.)
• Mo Brooks (R-Ala.)
• Ted Budd (R-N.C.)
• Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.)
• Michael Burgess (R-Texas)
• Ken Calvert (R-Calif.)
• Kat Cammack (R-Fla.)
• Jerry Carl (R-Ala.)
• Buddy Carter (R-Ga.)
• John Carter (R-Texas)
• Madison Cawthorn (R-N.C.)
• Steve Chabot (R-Ohio)
• Ben Cline (R-Va.)
• Michael Cloud (R-Texas)
• Andrew Clyde (R-Ga.)
• Tom Cole (R-Okla.)
• Rick Crawford (R-Ark.)
• Warren Davidson (R-Ohio)
• Scott DesJarlais (R-Tenn.)
• Mario Diaz-Balart (R-Fla.)
• Byron Donalds (R-Fla.)
• Jeff Duncan (R-S.C.)
• Neal Dunn (R-Fla.)
• Ron Estes (R-Kan.)
• Pat Fallon (R-Texas)
• Michelle Fischbach (R-Minn.)
• Scott Fitzgerald (R-Wis.)
• Chuck Fleischmann (R-Tenn.)
• Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.)
• Scott Franklin (R-Fla.)
• Russ Fulcher (R-Idaho)
• Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.)
• Mike Garcia (R-Calif.)
• Bob Gibbs (R-Ohio)
• Carlos Gimenez (R-Fla.)
• Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)
• Bob Good (R-Va.)
• Lance Gooden (R-Texas)
• Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.)
• Garret Graves (R-La.)
• Sam Graves (R-Mo.)
• Mark Green (R-Tenn.)
• Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.)
• Morgan Griffith (R-Va.)
• Michael Guest (R-Miss.)
• Jim Hagedorn (R-Minn.)
• Andy Harris (R-Md.)
• Diana Harshbarger (R-Tenn.)
• Vicky Hartzler (R-Mo.)
• Kevin Hern (R-Okla.)
• Yvette Herrell (R-N.M.)
• Jody Hice (R-Ga.)
• Clay Higgins (R-La.)
• Richard Hudson (R-N.C.)

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

Mathematical puns makes me number

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

He lost May

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Put it on my bill

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

1. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat from California
2. Sen. Tommy Tuberville, a Republican from Alabama
3. Sen. Roger Marshall, a Republican from Kansas
4. Sen. Rand Paul, a Republican from Kentucky
5. Sen. Mark Kelly, a Democrat from Arizona
6. Sen. Cynthia Lummis, a Republican from Wyoming
7. Rep. Tom Malinowski, a Democrat from New Jersey
8. Rep. Pat Fallon, a Republican from Texas
9. Rep. Diana Harshbarger, a Republican from Tennessee
10. Rep. Susie Lee, a Democrat of Nevada
11. Rep. Katherine Clark, a Democrat from Massachusetts
12. Rep. Blake Moore, a Republican from Texas
13. Rep. Mikie Sherrill, a Democrat from New Jersey
14. Rep. Mo Brooks, a Republican from Alabama
15. Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Republican from Texas
16. Rep. Kevin Hern, a Republican from Oklahoma
17. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a Democrat from Florida
18. Rep. Michael Guest, a Republican from Mississippi
19. Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, a Democrat from New York
20. Rep. Brian Mast, a Republican from Florida
21. Rep. Lori Trahan, a Democrat from Massachusetts
22. Rep. John Rutherford, a Republican from Florida
23. Rep. David Trone, a Democrat of Maryland
24. Rep. Dan Meuser, a Republican from Pennsylvania
25. Rep. Kathy Castor, a Democrat of Florida
26. Rep. Bill Pascrell, a Democrat of New Jersey
27. Rep. August Pfluger, a Republican from Texas
28. Rep. Brian Higgins, a Democrat from New York
29. Rep. Cheri Bustos, a Democrat from Illinois
30. Rep. Steve Chabot, a Republican from Ohio
31. Rep. Victoria Spartz, a Republican from Indiana
32. Rep. Rick Allen, a Republican from Georgia
33. Rep. Kim Schrier, a Democrat from Washington
34. Rep. Mike Kelly, a Republican from Pennsylvania
35. Rep. Chris Jacobs, a Republican from New York
36. Rep. Bobby Scott, a Democrat from Virginia
37. Rep. Austin Scott, a Republican from Georgia
38. Rep. Pete Sessions, a Republican from Texas
39. Rep. Ed Perlmutter, a Democrat from Colorado
40. Rep. Tom Suozzi, a Democrat from New York
41. Rep. Warren Davidson, a Republican from Ohio
42. Rep. Lance Gooden, a Republican from Texas
43. Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, a Republican from Tennessee
44. Rep. Cindy Axne, a Democrat from Iowa
45. Del. Michael San Nicolas, a Democrat from Guam
46. Rep. Peter Welch, a Democrat from Vermont
47. Rep. Jim Banks, a Republican from Indiana
48. Rep. Mike Garcia, a Republican from California
49. Rep. Rob Wittman, a Republican from Virginia
50. Rep. Alan Lowenthal, a Democrat from California
51. Rep. Jim Hagedorn, a Republican fro

1. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat from California
2. Sen. Tommy Tuberville, a Republican from Alabama
3. Sen. Roger Marshall, a Republican from Kansas
4. Sen. Rand Paul, a Republican from Kentucky
5. Sen. Mark Kelly, a Democrat from Arizona
6. Sen. Cynthia Lummis, a Republican from Wyoming
7. Rep. Tom Malinowski, a Democrat from New Jersey
8. Rep. Pat Fallon, a Republican from Texas
9. Rep. Diana Harshbarger, a Republican from Tennessee
10. Rep. Susie Lee, a Democrat of Nevada
11. Rep. Katherine Clark, a Democrat from Massachusetts
12. Rep. Blake Moore, a Republican from Texas
13. Rep. Mikie Sherrill, a Democrat from New Jersey
14. Rep. Mo Brooks, a Republican from Alabama
15. Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Republican from Texas
16. Rep. Kevin Hern, a Republican from Oklahoma
17. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a Democrat from Florida
18. Rep. Michael Guest, a Republican from Mississippi
19. Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, a Democrat from New York
20. Rep. Brian Mast, a Republican from Florida
21. Rep. Lori Trahan, a Democrat from Massachusetts
22. Rep. John Rutherford, a Republican from Florida
23. Rep. David Trone, a Democrat of Maryland
24. Rep. Dan Meuser, a Republican from Pennsylvania
25. Rep. Kathy Castor, a Democrat of Florida
26. Rep. Bill Pascrell, a Democrat of New Jersey
27. Rep. August Pfluger, a Republican from Texas
28. Rep. Brian Higgins, a Democrat from New York
29. Rep. Cheri Bustos, a Democrat from Illinois
30. Rep. Steve Chabot, a Republican from Ohio
31. Rep. Victoria Spartz, a Republican from Indiana
32. Rep. Rick Allen, a Republican from Georgia
33. Rep. Kim Schrier, a Democrat from Washington
34. Rep. Mike Kelly, a Republican from Pennsylvania
35. Rep. Chris Jacobs, a Republican from New York
36. Rep. Bobby Scott, a Democrat from Virginia
37. Rep. Austin Scott, a Republican from Georgia
38. Rep. Pete Sessions, a Republican from Texas
39. Rep. Ed Perlmutter, a Democrat from Colorado
40. Rep. Tom Suozzi, a Democrat from New York
41. Rep. Warren Davidson, a Republican from Ohio
42. Rep. Lance Gooden, a Republican from Texas
43. Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, a Republican from Tennessee
44. Rep. Cindy Axne, a Democrat from Iowa
45. Del. Michael San Nicolas, a Democrat from Guam
46. Rep. Peter Welch, a Democrat from Vermont
47. Rep. Jim Banks, a Republican from Indiana
48. Rep. Mike Garcia, a Republican from California
49. Rep. Rob Wittman, a Republican from Virginia
50. Rep. Alan Lowenthal, a Democrat from California
51. Rep. Jim Hagedorn, a Republican fro

Whenever any of these anti-American terrorist-supporting goons are quoted in the media, anything and everything they say should be dismissed and their disloyalty to the country should be brought up instead. In a just society they would be ridden out of the country on a rail.

Senators who objected:

Ted Cruz (TX)

Josh Hawley (MO)

Cindy Hyde-Smith (MS)

Cynthia Lummis (WY)

John Kennedy (LA)

Roger Marshall (KS)

Rick Scott (FL)

Tommy Tuberville (AL)

House members who objected:

Robert Aderholt (AL)

Rick Allen (GA)

Jodey Arrington (TX)

Brian Babin (TX)

Jim Baird (IN)

Jim Banks (IN)

Cliff Bentz (OR)

Jack Bergman (MI)

Stephanie Bice (OK)

Andy Biggs (AZ)

Dan Bishop (NC)

Lauren Boebert (CO)

Mike Bost (IL)

Mo Brooks (AL)

Ted Budd (NC)

Tim Burchett (TN)

Michael Burgess (TX)

Ken Calvert (CA)

Kat Cammack (FL)

Jerry Carl (AL)

Buddy Carter (GA)

John Carter (TX)

Madison Cawthorn (NC)

Steve Chabot (OH)

Ben Cline (VA)

Michael Cloud (TX)

Andrew Clyde (GA)

Tom Cole (OK)

Rick Crawford (AR)

Warren Davidson (OH)

Scott DesJarlais (TN)

Mario Diaz-Balart (FL)

Byron Donalds (FL)

Jeff Duncan (SC)

Neal Dunn (FL)

Ron Estes (KS)

Pat Fallon (TX)

Michelle Fischbach (MN)

Scott Fitzgerald (WI)

Chuck Fleischmann (TN)

Virginia Foxx (NC)

Scott Franklin (FL)

Russ Fulcher (ID)

Matt Gaetz (FL)

Mike Garcia (CA)

Bob Gibbs (OH)

Carlos Gimenez (FL)

Louie Gohmert (TX)

Bob Good (VA)

Lance Gooden (TX)

Paul Gosar (AZ)

Garret Graves (LA)

Sam Graves (MO)

Mark Green (TN)

Marjorie Greene (GA)

Morgan Griffith (VA)

Michael Guest (MS)

Jim Hagedorn (MN)

Andy Harris (MD)

Diana Harshbarger (TN)

Vicky Hartzler (MO)

Kevin Hern (OK)

Yvette Herrell (NM)

Jody Hice (GA)

Clay Higgins (LA)

Richard Hudson (NC)

Darrell Issa (CA)

Ronny Jackson (TX)

Chris Jacobs (NY)

Mike Johnson (LA)

Bill Johnson (OH)

Jim Jordan (OH)

John Joyce (PA)

Fred Keller (PA)

Trent Kelly (MS)

Mike Kelly (PA)

David Kustoff (TN)

Doug LaMalfa (CA)

Doug Lamborn (CO)

Jacob LaTurner (KS)

Debbie Lesko (AZ)

Billy Long (MO)

Barry Loudermilk (GA)

Frank Lucas (OK)

Blaine Luetkemeyer (MO)

Nicole Malliotakis (NY)

Tracey Mann (KS)

Brian Mast (FL)

Kevin McCarthy (CA)

Lisa McClain (MI)

Daniel Meuser (PA)

Mary Miller (IL)

Carol Miller (WV)

Alex Mooney (WV)

Barry Moore (AL)

Markwayne Mullin (OK)

Gregory Murphy (NC)

Troy Nehls (TX)

Ralph Norman (SC)

Devin Nunes (CA)

Jay Obernolte (CA)

Burgess Owens (UT)

Steven Palazzo (MS)

Gary Palmer (AL) Greg Pence (

1. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat from California
2. Rep. Mikie Sherrill, a Democrat from New Jersey
3. Sen. Tommy Tuberville, a Republican from Alabama
4. Sen. Roger Marshall, a Republican from Kansas
5. Sen. Rand Paul, a Republican from Kentucky
6. Sen. Mark Kelly, a Democrat from Arizona
7. Sen. Cynthia Lummis, a Republican from Wyoming
8. Rep. Tom Malinowski, a Democrat from New Jersey
9. Rep. Pat Fallon, a Republican from Texas
10. Rep. Diana Harshbarger, a Republican from Tennessee
11. Rep. Katherine Clark, a Democrat from Massachusetts
12. Rep. Blake Moore, a Republican from Texas
13. Rep. Mo Brooks, a Republican from Alabama
14. Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Republican from Texas
15. Rep. Susie Lee, a Democrat of Nevada
16. Rep. Kevin Hern, a Republican from Oklahoma
17. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a Democrat from Florida
18. Rep. Michael Guest, a Republican from Mississippi
19. Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, a Democrat from New York
20. Rep. Brian Mast, a Republican from Florida
21. Rep. Lori Trahan, a Democrat from Massachusetts
22. Rep. John Rutherford, a Republican from Florida
23. Rep. Kathy Castor, a Democrat of Florida
24. Rep. August Pfluger, a Republican from Texas
25. Rep. Brian Higgins, a Democrat from New York
26. Rep. Cheri Bustos, a Democrat from Illinois
27. Rep. Steve Chabot, a Republican from Ohio
28. Rep. Victoria Spartz, a Republican from Indiana
29. Rep. Rick Allen, a Republican from Georgia
30. Rep. Mike Kelly, a Republican from Pennsylvania
31. Rep. Chris Jacobs, a Republican from New York
32. Rep. Bobby Scott, a Democrat from Virginia
33. Rep. Austin Scott, a Republican from Georgia
34. Rep. Pete Sessions, a Republican from Texas
35. Rep. Ed Perlmutter, a Democrat from Colorado
36. Rep. Kim Schrier, a Democrat from Washington
37. Rep. Tom Suozzi, a Democrat from New York
38. Rep. Cindy Axne, a Democrat from Iowa
39. Rep. Warren Davidson, a Republican from Ohio
40. Rep. Lance Gooden, a Republican from Texas
41. Rep. Chuck Fleischmann, a Republican from Tennessee
42. Del. Michael San Nicolas, a Democrat from Guam
43. Rep. Peter Welch, a Democrat from Vermont
44. Rep. Jim Banks, a Republican from Indiana
45. Rep. Rob Wittman, a Republican from Virginia
46. Rep. Alan Lowenthal, a Democrat from California
47. Rep. Roger Williams, a Republican from Texas
48. Rep. Dan Meuser, a Republican from Pennsylvania

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