Tissø Puns

Hello there,
I am Bert Newton, Lead Investigator of the BRIDGES ARG. (Unconfirmed Death Stranding ARG)

I come here on behalf of our group currently involved in an Alternate Reality Game hosted on a Discord Server. Our ARG consists of increasingly difficult and cryptic puzzles that we have worked together to solve, but he have hit a standstill as we now have to visit 7 real world locations scattered across Europe. Our group has managed to visit 2 of these locations, and as a result, the elusive Gamemaker/Admin has given batches of cryptic files and audio to those that attend an area.
The next most feasible location to visit based on accessibility and population is set on the Eastern Perimeter of Tissø Lake.

This is where we need your help!
If you live close by to Tissø Lake and have a Discord account (Feel free to use your real or make a 'fake' account if you would prefer to stay transparant) Please join https://discord.gg/mVkEmcQ
Once joined, I/we will be more than happy to fill you in on the finer details of the game and you would be an absolute legend for helping out.

Thanks in advance,
Bert Newton
____________________________________________________________________________________________

Apologies for the rough translation as Danish is not my native language...

[Hej med dig, Jeg er Bert Newton, Lead Investigator of the BRIDGES ARG. Jeg kommer her på vegne af vores gruppe, der i øjeblikket er involveret i et alternativt realitetsspil, der er hostet på en Discord Server. Vores ARG består af stadig vanskeligere og kryptiske puslespil, som vi har arbejdet sammen for at løse, men han har stoppet, da vi nu skal besøge 7 virkelige verdensklasser spredt over hele Europa. Vores gruppe har formået at besøge 2 af disse placeringer, og som følge heraf har den uklar Gamemaker / Admin givet batcher af kryptiske filer og lyd til dem, der deltager i et område. Det næstmest mulige sted at besøge baseret på tilgængelighed og befolkning er sat på den østlige perimeter af Tissø Sø. Det er her, vi har brug for din hjælp! Hvis du bor tæt på Tissø Sø og har en Discord-konto (Du er velkommen til at bruge din rigtige eller lave en "falsk" konto, hvis du foretrækker at forblive transparent.) Tilmeld dig https://discord.gg/mVkEmcQ Når jeg er blevet tilmeldt, vil jeg være mere end glad for at udfylde dig

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap