Did you hear about the guy who has no feet or shins?

Tony

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Because the shin is broken
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonathanos_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Coworker said, "if you do that again, I'll kick you in the shin."

"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."

"...why?"

"Just for kicks!"

All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/downhillcarver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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My wife ran into our toddler's trampoline in the living room and bruised her shin

I told her she would bounce right back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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The lunch meat in my sandwich was made from cow shins...

It was below knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anyeyeball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
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And I'm not even a dad!

This actually just happened!!!

I was driving my 14yo home, and I was complaining because I recently hurt my shoulder.

Me: Ow, my shoulder is trash

Him: Maybe you'll have to amputate your arm

Me: That wouldn't help because I'd still have a stump to waive around. They'd have to amputate it at the shoulder.

Him: They wouldn't really do that, would they?

Me: Yep

Him: Baloney

Me: No, that would be down here and pointed to my shin

Then he started crying :-) I can die happy now!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impostershop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Most people don’t understand how important genetics plays into our children’s development.

And that’s why children will always pay for the β€œshins of their father.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Wife got me with this one

We had a work party this past weekend that required a lot of walking and standing.

When I woke up the next day, my leg was hurting. When I told my wife she asked where on my leg.

"Its like the top of my shin," I told her. She replied, "Ohh. I bet its because of the shindig we were at last night." I looked at her and she had a little grin on her face.

I, of course, had to groan in reply as she was giddy with herself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nyht912
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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Stolen from a friends Facebook post

OK... so did you ever notice how every time you spend 4 days alone in the woods and you make it out without a scratch or even a mosquito bite, and you're feeling all peaceful and relaxed and at one with the universe, you're not home 20 minutes and unloading the back of your truck when you slam your right shin into the trailer hitch... and amid the flashing white stars around you, your fists clench, your teeth grit, your body tenses and every "mean, nasty and ugly" word you ever read, heard, uttered or even imagined ("Wait... is #*&%#@!!! even a word??? Oh what the heck? It works!") goes tearing through your brain.... and eventually it passes and you keep working, surprised you're not even limping and it doesn't hurt more than it does... and almost an hour later, when you're finished and getting undressed to take your first hot shower in days, you see a lump on your shin the size of Rhode Island... and the first image that pops into your head is John Merrick yelling "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!... in fact, it literally looks like a second knee on your right leg... so you spend the rest of the evening keeping it elevated and icing it on and off, alternating between a blue gel pack and a bag of frozen peas.... and when you go to bed, you keep the gel pack on while you read and then take it off before you go to sleep... and then you wake up around 3AM and decide to check your shin and the swelling has gone down quite a bit... but since you still have several hours before you get up, you decide to ice it again... but the gel pack on the floor is no longer cold so you get up, walk to the kitchen and open the fridge... and after taking a bite of leftover pizza from last night (because... well, you're here and what the heck?), you go into the freezer, grab the bag of frozen peas and take them back to bed with you... but they're all frozen into one big solid ball and well, that won't do... so you lay the bag on the bed to pound it once or twice to break them up, but instead the bag bursts open and suddenly there are frozen peas sprayed all over the bed and rolling onto the floor... and all those words from yesterday come rushing back into your head as you kneel to gather them all up... but suddenly your anger completely vanishes and you can't help laughing to yourself as you think, "gee, I can't remember the last time I pea'd the bed in the middle of the night"???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markwittz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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I hear they want to flood Russia in knee high water

I keep hearing talk about giving the country sank shins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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Shameless Dad Joke While At Work

I work for the school system doing before and after school child care. Today, during outside playtime, a fourth grader came up to me and said "I hit my shin on the bench." I couldn't help but reply "Man..that's a really bad shinjury."

^^^^I'll ^^^^let ^^^^myself ^^^^out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaltivel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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Nice try dad

So my dad and I are planing to go on a jog, and I tell him my shins hurt from falling on the stairs the other day... His reply? "Well, you SHINndt do that" -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shermen744
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
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