Just a reminder, make sure you walk down the stairs in the morning.

If you don't, you might not have a descent day

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaRayn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A friendly reminder to use the 20 20 vision joke until you physically can't

U only have few hours

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blokay_da_hech
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (seeΒ·luhΒ·kanth)!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aloees
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Reminder: Please don't include the punchline in the topic.

Howdy punsters!

Please remember when posting to /r/puns that the punchline should be in the post itself, not the topic. Puns should be self-explanatory. If you have to explain it, please do so in the comments. We've had a lot of puns lately, especially images, ruined before clicking on them when the whole thing was spoiled in the topic line.

Up to now, we've been assigning "for shame" flair when this happens, but it's become very common lately. As a result, posts with punchlines in the topic will be removed.

Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Friendly reminder to all the trans folks out there: anything you do may be taxable

It is a transaction, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Watching the ball drop is a reminder of what I did all last year
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Reminder: You now all have the opportunity to use one of the oldest dad jokes in the book - "I haven't _______ all year!"

Examples:

  • I haven't seen you all year!
  • I haven't eaten all year
  • I haven't slept all year

And variants thereof.

Happy New Year :)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RomanAbramovich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election

But a lot less Gore-y

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Cemeteries remind me of the TV show Cheers.

It's a place where everyone knows your name.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aagistar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Neowise should remind redditors that the best jokes are in space...

Because the best jokes are always in the comets.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
LA traffic is reminding me why it's called the 405

Because anywhere you go, it takes 4 or 5 hours

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/egg27015
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Ms. Richie: Hey, remind me what comes after Do and Re on the musical scale?

Lionel: Hello, is it Mi you are looking for?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a smart trash can that reminds me to take out the trash

Now it keeps trash talking.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Baimev3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song

#BUYBUYBUY

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year ...

Or they might get autumn'y ache.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A recipe for a good relationship

My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.

I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.

So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.

The look on her face was priceless!

I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...

They really are fucking heroes

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uingsz
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep having to remind my wife & kids not to throw aluminum in the regular trash.

Their commitment to recycling is uncanny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself β€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, β€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts β€œtree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. β€œWell I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, β€œAhhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping β€œbulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. β€œWELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman β€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says β€œoh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbacconnn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to make some chai tea the other day but I failed miserably. It tasted awful and burnt. But then I reminded myself...

If at first you can't make tea, chai, chai, again.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MandolinMusic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
That reminds me of the joke about the bed...

oh wait it hasn't been made yet.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I once tried smoking

It all went Dunhill from there

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Punnier_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.

It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake that cleans windows?

A vindow viper

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeysaurrr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time I leave my house in the winter it reminds me of a jalapeΓ±o.

Because its a little chili.

πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PHIL-yes-PLZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
🚨︎ report
At the zoo I was reminded that my husband is a Dad

There was a zoo employee holding a polar bear foot for children to touch. As he pushed the stroller past, my husband paused, leaned towards him, and said, "aren't you chilly? You have bear feet!"

Then he grinned and laughed. I wasn't quite close enough to hear the setup, so he even got to repeat the joke for me.

πŸ‘︎ 319
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hatgirlstargazer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Newegg customer service rep reminded me that there was a brief survey at the end of the call.

I responded, "Sorry ma'am, I only wear boxers."

after a long sigh "Very well sir.. have a good day."

πŸ‘︎ 291
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggy_Brohdletine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm reminded of the man who rode a bike, made from scavenged trash, to work every day

he called it recycling.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sitting on the sofa with my wife last night, when I said, "Honey, you remind me of an onion."

She smiled, blushed a little and asked, "Why? Because I have so many layers to my personality!?"

"No."

"Oh, OK, something stupid like, you'll cry when you slice me up?!"

"Nope."

"OK! OK! You'd prefer it if I was battered?!"

"Nah."

"You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be a bit overpowering?!"

"No, no and no!"

Exasperated, she shrieked, "Oh, all right then, why?!"

"You smell like an onion!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
My great grandfather always used to say to me that there were three types of people in this world

Those who can count, and those who can not.

(Another post reminded me of this. The great grandfather of mine in question passed away 4 years ago. He also always used to tell me β€œwater is for bathing, always remember that” while he drank a glass of anything alcoholic. Funny thing is he only drank like one small glass a day. Sorry for rambling).

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J4keFr0mStatef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I got myself a new seniors' GPS

Not only does it tell me how to get there, it reminds me why I went there in the first place.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Reminded of when my dad saw The Mist

A while back my parents had a night out and they'd mentioned they would probably go to a movie, so when they got home I asked them which one they saw:

Mom: That Stephen King one, The Mist, I think.

Me: I wanted to see that sometime, how was it?

Dad: It was entertaining, but to be honest I thought it might have been a little over cast.

-Cue boisterous laughter and counter top slapping-

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconGristle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...

I've told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I say, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute." When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."

For the life of me, I can't figure why doesn't think this is hilarious. I keep making sure to remind her of it every time we are around new people. Hopefully if she hears the joke enough she will start to appreciate it.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Giovanni469
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The recent post about the "Quackopotamous" reminded me...

When I was a wee lad, about 5 or 6 , my dad and I went to the beach on a vacation. I, having never seen the ocean, learned many new things, like how tides work, and how there's seemingly billions of white flying rats that the world calls Seagulls.

Fast forward a few weeks to us being back home in Kansas City, MO where no beaches or seagulls are to be found. My dad and I were running errands and found ourselves at the local Target, where in the parking lot I spotted dozens of white birds that looked eerily similar to the Seagulls I had learned about weeks before.

"Dad, what're those?" I inquired

"Oh, son those are called Parkinglotgulls. Yeah they're close cousins of the seagull!"

And that's how I came to call those white birds that flock around parking lots worldwide "Parkinglotgulls" even to this day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monroeshton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
In the spirit of sharing our kids attempts at dad jokes,

My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:

Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.

I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.

Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OnionShanty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my SO went too Lapland, she said something reminds her of back home (the UK).

I replied "it must be the rain dear".

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghost_Brain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Seeing people in the sub-zero cold, I'm reminded of a Kanye chorus

How can you be so hatless?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/plasker6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.