Just a reminder, Father’s Day is Sunday.

Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Just a reminder, don't buy anything with Velcro

It's a total ripoff!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterjon_3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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A reminder that it’s International Diarrhoea Week

Runs until Friday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fantasypaladin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Just a reminder, make sure you walk down the stairs in the morning.

If you don't, you might not have a descent day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaRayn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Just a friendly little reminder

That β€œgrΓ₯trunka” is a Swedish word that means to cry while masterbating

-Now ain’t that a real tear jerker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoveThyLoki
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Facebook gave me a reminder of how i irritated my friends one year ago.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jewelsssss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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A friendly reminder to use the 20 20 vision joke until you physically can't

U only have few hours

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blokay_da_hech
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (seeΒ·luhΒ·kanth)!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aloees
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Every loaf of bread is a tragic reminder of what can happen to grain

if it doesn't become whiskey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Sonic trailer is released as a reminder that Ramadan is next week

and that I have to go fast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Watching the ball drop is a reminder of what I did all last year
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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Just a reminder for everyone to plan ahead and allow for extra time tomorrow

The internet is going to have more traffic than usual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipalush89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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I felt like giving my dad a kind reminder about mother's day...

https://imgur.com/a/BoHVUWe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R4p354uc3
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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school has really reminded me of english classes and writing a bunch of these
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattybanatty
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I told my wife at dinner, "honey your chicken parmesan reminds me of a poutine" she said "how's that?"

Because I want to poutine my mouth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullmiz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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It's a vicious cycle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-wulv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Saviour.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thot0fTheDay
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be.

No need to remind her every half hour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I bought a smart trash can that reminds me to take out the trash

Now it keeps trash talking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baimev3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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You remind me of a newly paved road....

Re-tarred.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommieJayRL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Seeing a lot of jokes about circumcision on here reminded me of an old favorite....

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Many years ago there was a vicious viking named RΓΌdoff.

RΓΌdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "RΓΌdoff det rΓΈde", meaning "the red".

After years of wars, and regular battles, RΓΌdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.

One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but RΓΌdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars

"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.

He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:

RΓΌdoff The Red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

My dad told me this a few months ago. And he loves to remind me of it every week. It is his dadiest dad joke. It makes him so happy and that makes me happy. Hope it made some of you smile!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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A recipe for a good relationship

My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.

I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.

So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.

The look on her face was priceless!

I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

Just to remind me why there's no money in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Every time I make a pun, my friend reminds me that he'll one day buy me a drumkit.

To which I ask him "are you being literal or cymbalic."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenoraiser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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My wife asked me the other day what I wanted to name our twin daughters. Kate, I replied. And the other, she asked?

DupliKate

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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What did the dolphin say to the three Orcas?

"Whale, whale, whale..."

Edit: Today I was reminded Orcas aren't whales...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Every time I leave my house in the winter it reminds me of a jalapeΓ±o.

Because its a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHIL-yes-PLZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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At the zoo I was reminded that my husband is a Dad

There was a zoo employee holding a polar bear foot for children to touch. As he pushed the stroller past, my husband paused, leaned towards him, and said, "aren't you chilly? You have bear feet!"

Then he grinned and laughed. I wasn't quite close enough to hear the setup, so he even got to repeat the joke for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatgirlstargazer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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A post on awww reminded me of one I got my kid with a few years ago.

So my daughter used to be a Dora the explorer fanatic. Loved everything Dora.. So we bought her a kickball with Dora on it.

Thats important to the joke, trust me.

So, we were out in the garage, kicking the ball back and forth, and my daughter saw one of our dogs doing something cute, as dogs are wont to do.

"Daddy! Look! That's adorable!"

I grabbed the ball and said "no, sweetie, thats cute, THIS is a Dora ball!"

Eyeroll from her, and the wife choked on her drink. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
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Newegg customer service rep reminded me that there was a brief survey at the end of the call.

I responded, "Sorry ma'am, I only wear boxers."

after a long sigh "Very well sir.. have a good day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggy_Brohdletine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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My Dad Reminded me to Make a Dentist Appointment Yesterday

β€œYou don’t want to get summer teeth,” he said.

Me: β€œWhat are summer teeth?”

Him: β€œIt’s when some are teeth, some are not!”

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
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I'm reminded of the man who rode a bike, made from scavenged trash, to work every day

he called it recycling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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This punny fortune from a fortune cookie.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Watching Pavarotti on TV last night, I was reminded that in his later years he became a camper-van enthusiast

He had a van adapted to his own specification, which subsequently was often seen overnight in the car parks of the world's best opera houses. After his death, the Japanese manufacturers used it as the flagship model of a new range. We've all heard of the 'Nissan Dormer'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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A mother is opening the mail at home one night. She began adamantly reminding him they were out of baby powder as she’s tearing into their bank statement. When she sees it, she marches to the father sitting in his chair and says β€œWhat is this $730.88 spent at the Treasure Chest, Donny?!”

All he said was β€œI don’t know what you’re talcum β€˜bout.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mathis730
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself β€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, β€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts β€œtree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. β€œWell I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, β€œAhhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping β€œbulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. β€œWELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman β€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says β€œoh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbacconnn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just a reminder, Father’s Day is on Sunday.

Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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