The New Tarantino Classic
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Sylvester Stallone got the part of Beethoven in a new movie about classical composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be Bach!"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigwomby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Dadjoked my wife and the nurse moments before my daughter was born

My wife and I welcomed our new daughter this week. The wife wanted some classic rock while she was pushing. We were all there, the doctor, the main nurse (with whom we were joking all day long) and a few other nurses. This was the moment of truth.

Suddenly, the Scorpions' "Rock you like a hurricane" comes on, and my wife exclaims: "This is exactly what I need to pump me up!! She is going to be a Scorpion!"

To which I replied "Actually, she'll be a Sagittarius"

The nurse looked at me surprised, cracked up, the wife rolled her eyes, and a few breaths later my daughter was born.

I have never been prouder to be a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mirkules
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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I dadjoked my boss today. He didn't see it coming.

So I work retail and I was restocking shelves on a hardware isle with tools, doohickeys, and thingies. He was walking and talking with a new boss (training him and such) when they stopped at my isle. They didn't really notice me so it was perfect.

I picked up a stud finder and hit 'em with a classic!

"Hey guys check it out! It's a stud finder" Runs it over chest "Beep beep beep. Oh hey it's working!"

My boss had a few chuckles and the other guy said something about it being stupid but smiled anyways. Me? I was laughing my ass off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUndeadKid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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My dad's joke

He's Talking with a coworker.

Dad: My wife went to the hospital this morning.

Coworker: Really!? What happened?

Dad: It was her first day at her new job.

Classic dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rebzo91
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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Dad joked while getting a tour of a glass factory

So i know the joke is old, but the application was classic...

I was with my dad buying some glass cutting supplies and the guy in the store was really dry and seemed to take his job pretty seriously. We wrapped up our purchase and the shop worker asked if we wanted a quick tour of the production facility. We said 'yes' and walked into the back. Shop worker guy showed us some bullet proof glass, and a new self obscuring glass... then he mentions that most of what they do is provide mirrors for elevators and he turns to walk us over to the last section of the facility where they do wood grain backed mirrors. My dad stops walking and says "elevators hey"? The shop worker turns and looks at him... "I hear that industry has it's ups and downs"... Shop worker guy makes eye contact with me and turns and continues his tour. While no noise escaped his lips i could feel an internal groan that shook the walls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbyflorentine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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Why i go there for dinner.

I was over my rents eating dinner the other day and was talking to my mom about work.

Me: I have this new manager, and she keeps asking me all these asinine questions about the most basic things

Dad: I'd only give it an 8.

Me: Wha.....ohhhh

-________- classic dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrailRain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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