“WHOA, a talking muffin!"
The first muffin says "Damn! It's hot in here!"
The second muffin looks and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
(Being honest here. Not a dad. I'm a mom and my kids hate this joke!! I'll understand completely if y'all do too!)
Is that a Murphyn?
Boo-berry!!!
The other yells, "Oh my god! It's a talking muffin!"
He put a glass of water on his head!
It's the first time I have been able to see and hug her in over a year, and she made me so proud!
*Edit: So many typos in my title.
He said "Do I get any money off for having this big stick?"
I said "No sir, we don't offer staff discount".
Told him to use both and he’d probably find him a lot quicker.
The man says to the bartender “1 for me, and 1 for the road”
The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.
"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."
EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌
Because he couldn't see that well
After all, there isn’t a vas deferens between the two ovum
Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora."
The widow replies: “Thanks that means a lot.”
And another:
Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Bargain."
The widow replies: “Thanks that means a great deal.”
Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.
Yeah he's all right now
He couldn't see himself doing it!
They would be alloys.
He died of old H.
..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '
Attire
edit: had to delete original post, due to misspelling in the title.
Attire
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
....using a tablet.
A man wearing scrubs walks into the room of a woman about to give birth.
The woman asks: "Are you the nurse or the doctor?"
The man replies: "I'm the delivery guy."
"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"
It was a-bomb-in-a-bull
Its a shitzu.
How do you breathe through that little thing?
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
I told him he would probably find him faster he used both.
I gave him a glass of water.
Apparently he's now completely recovered
Neil before me
More on this story as it unfolds
"That's slander, man."
Ahhhh! A Talking Muffin!!!!
“AAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
"Holy smokes it's hot in here" - One muffin says to the other That muffin replies "No way! A talking muffin!"
"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
One turns to the other and say “Is it hot in here or is it just me?”
The other replied “Holy shit a talking muffin!”
Because he couldn't see that well...
He didn’t see that well.
The first muffin turns to the second and says "Man it sure is hot in here." The second says "AAAHHHHHH a talking muffin!!"
He's alright now.
