You hear about the retiree who opened a bar for lonely roofers?

It was a shingles bar...

πŸ₯Έ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncleherpie
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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The lonely asperagus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaribbeanAmfibian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?

It’s always nice to have a bit of company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why was the anteater so lonely?

Cause there’s no such thing as an uncle-eater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinAteJiminsJams
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Why was the skeleton lonely?

He had no body

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_rafikki
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car

Now everyone waves at me

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?

Because he wanted a Czech mate!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_chick283
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...

It just wanted a little comma-raderie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bci1516
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.

Then you’ll have a little bit of company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?

A pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unsaneasylum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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What state did the lonely cow moo to?

Cowifornia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyPipeCalling
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Why was the skeleton so lonely?

Because he ain't got no body.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eztfive
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the lonely millionaire sell the majority of his business?

He wanted a little company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ill_will_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Some Dadjoke advice for all the lonely hearts out there

Here's what you should do:

Step 1: Buy a sheep

Step 2: name it "Relation"

And now... *drumroll* ... you have a relationsheep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

He loved the company.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheggg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Why was the variable so lonely?

Because everyone isolated them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magictreehousekid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Some Dadjoke advice for all the lonely hearts out there reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I left home for medical school down in the caribbean. My dad said if I ever get lonely, I'll always have someone to talk to on the island, and he gave me this.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clancy1001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Look! It's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club the Van!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Know_Thyself8
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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Did anyone ever hear about the lonely preacher who invited women to his birthday party?

Nun showed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenclaw_VIII
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Lonely? Try going to the Red Cross.

They always know someone that's your type.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leparr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Why were the spaniard's jeans so lonely?

Because they were pantalones!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DovahkiinWeiss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the mattress lonely?

It was on a single bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noagendamarket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2016
🚨︎ report
The lonely 1-hour photo patron said

"Someday my prints will come."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fpdubs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2011
🚨︎ report
What did the lonely baker say to the bread?

I knead you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exoxe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by The Lonely Island

https://youtu.be/gAYL5H46QnQ?t=1m3s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Staarlord
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
🚨︎ report

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