Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I’ll get my coat
When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.
Because it was /r/awww
He was a little sheep-ish.
Because he had a gambolling problem.
I made that up and I'm not even a dad.
He's a small medium at large.
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
Ba-dum-tss!
A Hannibal Lectern
It was a ca-lamb-ity.
"Baa."
Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"
Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.
One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.
They were the lamb-ulance
They say he's still on the lamb
He's still on the lamb.
Be careful, I herd they were on the lamb.
He found a lamb costume on the clearance rack. But it still wasn't sheep enough for him.
Because he was on the lamb!
The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.
Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.
The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.
The mosquito was on the lamb.
An art critic was judging paintings at an event.
The first one was a bland painting of the earth. not too bad, but nothing out of this world.
The second one was a blank painting. Why they even turned it it, don’t ask.
The third one though. The third one was a beautifully crafted painting of a sheep.
The art critic turned to the artist. All they had to say was, “Wow, I am wooly astonished. The shear amount of detail of this art ewe made, which definitely lambs you into first place. This might be way pasture standards, but too baaad, don’t be sheepish. This piece definitely separates the sheep from the goats, it will definitely farm you some moo-lah.
Where's the lamb source!?
Because it was always on the lamb
Guard: Inmate #2276 escaped sir!
Warden: WHAT! How long ago?
Guard: There was a random search last night at 8:30, so figure he's been on the lamb for about 8 hours.
Warden: Oh thank God, what a relief.
Guard: How so sir? That's a hell of a long time to be missing.
Warden: Yes, but imagine how far he'd be if he was on the horse.
So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.
Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.
Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?
Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED
Hey /r/puns! My wife is entering a meatball cook off this weekend and needs a name for her entry. Neither of us have the same meat naming talents as Bob Belcher, but thought you guys might be able to help.
She is making a lamb meatball with a creamy orange Moroccan sauce served over a small bed of couscous.
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.
"Silence of the Lambs"
watch out for the lamb chop.
I didn’t believe him until I saw the news. He really was on the lamb
The man behind the counter sang "NOO Black Betty, ham or lamb"
Hey guys my friend is opening up a new bar and is looking for some food name puns. We were looking for some help from Reddit. Here are some of the names we have so far
- Happy Grillmore
- Spaghetti Murphy
- Lasagnye West
- Forrest Rump
- Egg Sheeran
- David Jafflehoff
- The Lamb Shank Redemption
- Beef Me Up Scotty
- HeisenBurger
Anymore suggestions will be appreciated
Four chickens escaped from a slaughter house by riding on the back of a sheep.
They're still on the lamb.
My colleagues and I were out to dinner and perusing the menu. We noticed that you always see lamb on a menu but you never see sheep and we wondered why.
After a long discussion, we finally figured it out. It's simply because sheep meat is baaaaaaa..d.
I was home from college for the weekend and my parents decided to take me out to get real food. So I decided I'd make the most of it and order lamb shoulder.
Me: " Well I guess me and this lamb can't be friends anymore."
Dad: " Why is that?"
Me: " Cause he has a giant chip on his shoulder."
*groans from everyone aorund the table"
You could say he's on the lamb.
Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.
Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?
We're seated to a family dinner at our hotel. I'm sitting across from my sister and next to my dad. The waiter brings our meals: lamb for me, lamb for my sister and fish for my dad.
Suddenly, he lost all the color in his face. In retrospect, we're not sure how he pulled that part off, but he seemed genuinely terrified as a lead into it.
Dad: "Oh my god, did you hear that?"
Me: "Hear what?"
Sister: "What's going on?"
Dad: Listen!
Ambient restaurant noises.
Me: Dad, seriously, are you ok? What's going on?!
Dad: I can't believe you can't hear it. They must have brought you the silence of the lambs...
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb
