What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?

Lost

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesuscide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Know why they don't play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs >.>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHDIKOULAS
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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Why is doing math in the jungle dangerous?

Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZachZ10
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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In the jungle.......
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afeer19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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What smells of egg and swings through the jungle?

A meringue-utan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Why are there no painkillers in the Jungle?

Because the parrots-eat-em-all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mintyboi123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why do they call that hat you wear in the jungle a pith helmet?

Becauthe of all the monkeeth up in the treeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Whenever you're in the jungle, the urge to sing.

Is only ever

A whim away A whim away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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I guess people are just going crazy about the exterior of that new cargo ship that was named for the bear from the Jungle Book.

Personally, I’m tired of the hullabaloo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat 'em all...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryolithicdd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Once upon a time in the jungle...

Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…

He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pirate-Frog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Natives of the African jungle, when avoiding predators, call the distance between you and a lion a β€˜wimb’

Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why are there no pain killers in the jungle?

because the parrots eat em all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VanillaxBear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle

Because the parrotscetamol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-cool-dude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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The hippopotamus is the true king of the jungle

That's why they call it "hippocracy".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morpipls
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Why isn't there any asparin in the jungle?

Because the paracetamol.

-One of my college lecturers, just now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anthony_ugh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I once had the king of the jungle tell me he was actually a tiger.

He was lion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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How can we be sure that the lion is king of the jungle?

He’s always liong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssj3dvp11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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β€ͺWhat would’ve been a better name for the lion instead of King of the Jungle?‬

Emperoar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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The Jungle was filled with diverse but selfish animals.

it was a vibrant egosystem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mansheep_
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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If I ever ran into a big cat in the jungle, I'd probably puma pants.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before."

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"

The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.

The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".

So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?

Because they're lion cheetahs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dawg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Two friends Bob and Frank are lost in the jungle when they are surrounded by a group of blood thirsty cannibals.

They are surrounded by dozens of the fierce blood thirsty warriors armed with clubs and spears. The leader of the warriors approaches the two friends and informs them they are trespassing on sacred land and unless they can prove they are descendants of the Gods they will be killed and eaten.

Bob and Frank realize they have little choice but agree they will attempt any test to try to save their lives.

The chief warrior brings them a bowl full of angry fire ants and drops one small seed into the bowl. He informs them they must put their lips in the bowl and suck as hard as they can. If they manage to suck up only the seed without sucking up an ant then the tribe would know they must be sent from the Gods.

Bob looks wearily at Frank but knowing they have no other options he puts his lips in the bowl and sucks hard. He immediately gets a mouth full of ants and screams in pain as they bite away at the inside of his mouth. Frank now even more nervous takes his turn and to his dismay also receives a nasty mouthful of the viscous buggers.

The warriors leap to their feet and surround the friends, β€œNow you must die” declares the chieftain. Just as the first spear is raised to Franks throat he screams β€œTria-Gan!” The warriors stop dead in their tracks. β€œWhat did you say” asked the chief. β€œTria-Gan” yelled frank again. Immediately the chief and his warriors turned and fled into the forest.

β€œHoly shit” said Bob β€œWhat did you just say and how did you know it would work?”

β€œWell” said Frank, β€œmy Mother always told me if at first you don’t suck seed try Tria-Gan.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usernamemispeled
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How much ibuprofen is in the jungle?

None, the parrotsatethemall

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeLLy_0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?

Because the paracetamol.

(Thank you The League of Gentlemen, Season 1 Episode 1).

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are there no painkillers left in the jungle?

Because the parrotscetamol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cameronslade989
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The Jungle Book is a movie that answers the age old question:

Does a bear scat in the woods?

(Zee-ba-da-zap-dooey)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laringar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling some really excellent jokes. I turned to the local tribesman and said "that lizard is really funny!" The tribesman replied "that's not a lizard... he's a stand up chameleon"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alain389
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't you play poker in the jungle ?

Too many cheetahs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geekfreshier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't people play poker in the jungle

There's too many cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolawolf127
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?

Lost.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't you play chess in the jungle

Because there are too many cheetahs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbht246
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle??

A polar bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't they play any poker in the jungle?

To many cheetahs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burn_Stick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you play poker in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why cant you play poker in the jungle ?

Too many cheetahs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhshjs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is is dangerous to do math in the jungle?

Because if you add 4 plus 4, you get ate

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/budonka
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat β€˜em all.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimosabbe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you play poker in the jungle?

There are to many cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longjumping_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FishFettish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_OneTonSoup
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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