If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...
Does that make it your... arch nemesis?
I told the dentist my teeth were hurting so he told me to go home and drink some Whiskey
The worst part of hurting your back...
is how you are always wrong after it heals. For instance, every time you get up you just stand corrected.
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. “Quit hurting your mother.” I said “ You’re grounded!”
I heard they've been putting electronic fish in the waters so they can catch more without hurting the environment.
Now that's E-fish-in-sea!
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
Doc, it hurts when I poke myself on the shoulder and when I poke myself on the forehead and when I poke myself in the thigh.
Doc: Your finger is broken.
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
How did the bowler get hurt?
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
What did the cat say when it got hurt?
Will you hurt your eyes if you look at the stars for too long?
This is a Sirius question.
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
How did the poster get hurt?
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
What did Mickey Mouse say to the Dr. when he hurt his leg?
Who does the Cat in the Hat call when his back hurts?
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
“I got hurt in the Pyrenees!”
All day long my cat lazes around the house, saying he is hurt. I told him to quit being a hypochondriac
but he just keeps saying "me ow"
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
What happened to the frog that hurt his leg?
What did the tree say when its back hurt?
"I need better lumber support"
I went to the doctor because the back of my foot hurt.
He said it could be months until it heels.
where does the pharaoh go when his back hurts
I hurt my foot driving my car the other day
I had to call a toe company.
True Story: My wife took my 15 year old daughter to get her 1st ...
Pfizer vaccination on Friday night at a local CVS. The place was packed and there was an older couple there thanking everyone for getting vaccinated. When my wife and daughter got home they were telling me about how packed it was. My daughter mentioned the older couple and said that when they thanked her, they asked which shot she received. “Pfizer”, she said. The couple said, “Well we’re Moderna folks!” My daughter asked me why that mattered…. Well, I said… In 2 years, all of us Modera folks will have grown two heads and all of you Pfizer people will probably have four arms. My daughter then looks innocently at both my wife and I and said, “what about the people that got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?” My wife and I completely lost it… we laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. My daughter started laughing too, but had no idea.
Doctor,my back hurts when I get up in the morning.
Then get up in the afternoon.
Every time my bike hurts me, I throw it down to the ground.
I had to change dentists because the last one hurt my fillings.
This morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door , comes back in and says both.
What did the middle eastern say after he hurt himself.
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don’t just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
Sometimes the tooth hurts... [OC]
What did the sofa say when it got hurt?
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
How did The Undertaker hurt his back?
What did the cat say when it hurt itself?
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