Tantalum carbide Puns

This material doesn't melt until 3,880 C, and I was wondering if we could use this material to colonize Proxima Centauri B, a planet heated to about 3000K.

I would like to know if tantalum hafnium carbide oxidizes. If yes, at what temperature?

This story is based in the SSB-verse (created by u/bluefishcake) and takes place at least 100 years after initial occupation. Humanity has proven itself in combat, subterfuge, and all-around fucking shit up so much that the Shil are starting to feel threatened. To mitigate that threat, at least according to the nobles in charge (with valuable input from those who were on the ground with the human forces), they agree to return partial autonomy of Earth to the humans, under the conditions that they still provide the above-mentioned services in name of the empire, and they stay under the management of a planetary governess. This story is not canon, although there will be canonical elements included. This is strictly a fanfic and I hope it rocks as hard as it sounds in my head.

First

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stare at Darius for a good, long second before shaking my head. “Can’t do that Colonel. Not yet at least. However, if you wish to join me in welcoming aboard the Governess, I’m sure we can shorten her stay aboard. Maybe even leave such an impression to keep her from coming back.”

He grins. “It would be best to educate our incoming guest on why it’s a bad idea to suddenly appear before a warship and linger around.”

Satisfied at my newfound assistant, I bark out a few orders. “Comms, notify CAG to stand down from Code 1 protocol and to clear a spot for the Governess. Also notify Security to prepare an escort for our guest. And tell Ops to disrupt any outgoing signals not from earth installations or craft in case anyone in the Governess’s fleet tries to report the situation.”

“Aye sir.” Comms replies back.

“Shall we, Colonel?” I ask.

“Lead the way Captain.” After leaving the bridge we resume our conversation.

“So, how are we going to remove the cancer? Berate the lady? Insult her? Insinuate that she’s trying to spy on us?” Despite being under the effects of artificial gravity, the colonel is positively bouncing in anticipation.

“Nothing crude like that. Especially not the insults or espionage. Honestly, with the short time frame we have, we could just tell her that we’re here to clean up the pirate menace and use that as an excuse to kick her out. Hmm.” My mind wanders for a few moments before another idea pops up in my mind.

“Care to impress upon the Governess that we’re not here to mess around in a less verba

This story is based in the SSB-verse (created by u/bluefishcake) and takes place at least 100 years after initial occupation. Humanity has proven itself in combat, subterfuge, and all-around fucking shit up so much that the Shil are starting to feel threatened. To mitigate that threat, at least according to the nobles in charge (with valuable input from those who were on the ground with the human forces), they agree to return partial autonomy of Earth to the humans, under the conditions that they still provide the above-mentioned services in name of the empire, and they stay under the management of a planetary governess. This story is not canon, although there will be canonical elements included. This is strictly a fanfic and I hope it rocks as hard as it sounds in my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours flew by fast as the ship became a veritable beehive: the cacophony of orders and directions filling the ship. My email alone was inundated with messages, status updates, requests, and more questions. All of which I had to put on the backburner until after the meeting ends; suffice to say that may take awhile. A necessary while, however, since I suspect we’ll be flying blind into a hot zone against an unknown number of potential enemies. Not a good situation for first combat, or any combat.

The first to show up was Cmdr. Johnson, followed by Cmdr. Shay for CIC, Cmdr. Josiah for weapons, Capt. Rexia for medical, and Cmdr. Krik coming in fifteen minutes later. I expected as much since engineering as a whole covers every structural system, fore to aft, top to bottom, port to starboard. I imagine she was delegating and running diagnostics on her systems the past two hours, making sure everything was in working order and ready for before showing up.

“Excellent. Now that everyone’s here, let's get started.” Those of us who can take a seat do while the rest shuffle to the sides. Now that I think about it, this should’ve been held in the briefing room. Oops.

Rexia is the first to speak up. “Captain, what can we expect regarding species involved in case there are casualties?”

“Shil, Nighkru, Helkam, possibly a few Rakiri, and maybe a Triki.” Krik’s antennae flutter and twitch when I mention possible Triki involvement. I don’t know much about their society, but it seems they dislike their people getting involved with piracy as much as everyone else does. Good.

“Do we have the requisite materia

• Company: European Metals
• Industry: Lithium/Tin Resource
• Location: Czech Republic, on the border of Germany
• Flagship Product: Cinovec Lithium/Tin Project
• Areas of Focus: Lithium/Tin Mining
• Ticker: $ERPNF (Nasdaq International), $EMHLF (OTC), $EMH (LSE/ASX)
• Share Price: $0.92 ($ERPNF),
• Market Capitalization: $147.27 Million
• NPV: $1.1 Billion
• Float: 113.36M
• % Held by institutions: 14.3%
• % Held by insiders: 25.22%
• Average Volume (3 month): 33.15k ($ERPNF)
• Investor Presentation: Link
• Financial Reports: Link
• Research Reports: Link

—————

LONG TERM AND SHORT TERM TRADE SUMMARY

• Long Term Speculation: As the largest hard rock lithium resource in Europe, European Metals is poised to become a leading lithium resource. Europe is the second largest EV market in the world, and recently superseded China as the global driver of electric car sales in 2020. The demand for lithium is a major bottle neck for battery manufacturers, and the demand is expected to double by 2024. Based on this information, and that which follows, European Metals is a compelling long term speculation with the potential for significant returns. For these reasons, I am holding my main equity position for the foreseeable future.

• Short Term Trade: European Metals is expected to announce an off-take agreement during Q1 of 2021. The EV and lithium industries are among the most popular investment and trading assets on the market. Lithium resource companies that are similar to European Metals, such as $PLL and $LAC, have demonstrated significant price movement (280%-450%) after announcing off-take agreements or significant milestones. A

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

**Item Number:** SCP XXXX

**Object Class: Euclid

**Special Containment Procedures**

SCP-XXXX is to be contained either at site 364 or site 365 at all times. Glass is to be imported from [REDACTED] every 12 hours. In the event that a transport fails or is intercepted, SCP-XXXX will soon go on a rampage from hunger and will begin to spew toxic gas from it's mouth. Y-909 in gas form will then be dispatched to sedate SCP-XXXX.

**Description:**

The Norwegian Monster of Light, or NML for short, is a hostile being that changes it's form and habits depending on whether it is exposed to sunlight or not..

During day, it takes the form of a 4.5m tall Tyrannosaurus Rex whose diet consists of crystal clear glass. SCP-XXXX's digestive system is able to produce and maintain an average temperature of 1400° and is also coated in tantalum carbide, a heat resistant material. It is because of this digestive system that it is able to maintain it's diet. During night, it takes the form of a smaller but more agile bat with a wingspan of 10 feet. It is comparable to the much smaller golden-crowned flying fox, and also share's it's diet of figs and leaves.

2 discoveries have been made during tests done in Site 912. First, the change between Dinosaur to Bat and vice versa is not caused after a period of time, but by the presence of direct light from a star within 100 million kilometers of earth. In our case, that comes from the sun. The presence of sunlight turns SCP-XXXX into a Dinosaur while the lack of it turns SCP-XXXX turns it into a bat. Second, SCP-XXXX shows no signs of aging even after being held in Site 364 and 365 for 38 years. Further investigation shows that SCP-XXXX's cells are able to reproduce themselves perfectly even without energy from food. Therefore it is assumed that SCP-XXXX is immortal, but it's birthplace and time have not yet been confirmed. This does not make sense with the fact that SCP-XXXX has to have a constant supply of food or else it will become enraged. Further investigation is required.

This story is based in the SSB-verse (created by u/bluefishcake) and takes place at least 100 years after initial occupation. Humanity has proven itself in combat, subterfuge, and all-around fucking shit up so much that the Shil are starting to feel threatened. To mitigate that threat, at least according to the nobles in charge (with valuable input from those who were on the ground with the human forces), they agree to return partial autonomy of Earth to the humans, under the conditions that they still provide the above-mentioned services in name of the empire, and they stay under the management of a planetary governess. This story is not canon, although there will be canonical elements included. This is strictly a fanfic and I hope it rocks as hard as it sounds in my head.

First

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stare at Darius for a good, long second before shaking my head. “Can’t do that Colonel. Not yet at least. However, if you wish to join me in welcoming aboard the Governess, I’m sure we can shorten her stay aboard. Maybe even leave such an impression to keep her from coming back.”

He grins. “It would be best to educate our incoming guest on why it’s a bad idea to suddenly appear before a warship and linger around.”

Satisfied at my newfound assistant, I bark out a few orders. “Comms, notify CAG to stand down from Code 1 protocol and to clear a spot for the Governess. Also notify Security to prepare an escort for our guest. And tell Ops to disrupt any outgoing signals not from earth installations or craft in case anyone in the Governess’s fleet tries to report the situation.”

“Aye sir.” Comms replies back.

“Shall we, Colonel?” I ask.

“Lead the way Captain.” After leaving the bridge we resume our conversation.

“So, how are we going to remove the cancer? Berate the lady? Insult her? Insinuate that she’s trying to spy on us?” Despite being under the effects of artificial gravity, the colonel is positively bouncing in anticipation.

“Nothing crude like that. Especially not the insults or espionage. Honestly, with the short time frame we have, we could just tell her that we’re here to clean up the pirate menace and use that as an excuse to kick her out. Hmm.” My mind wanders for a few moments before another idea pops up in my mind.

“Care to impress upon the Governess that we’re not here to mess around in a less verbal, more vis

This story is based in the SSB-verse (created by u/bluefishcake) and takes place at least 100 years after initial occupation. Humanity has proven itself in combat, subterfuge, and all-around fucking shit up so much that the Shil are starting to feel threatened. To mitigate that threat, at least according to the nobles in charge (with valuable input from those who were on the ground with the human forces), they agree to return partial autonomy of Earth to the humans, under the conditions that they still provide the above-mentioned services in name of the empire, and they stay under the management of a planetary governess. This story is not canon, although there will be canonical elements included. This is strictly a fanfic and I hope it rocks as hard as it sounds in my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours flew by fast as the ship became a veritable beehive: the cacophony of orders and directions filling the ship. My email alone was inundated with messages, status updates, requests, and more questions. All of which I had to put on the backburner until after the meeting ends; suffice to say that may take awhile. A necessary while, however, since I suspect we’ll be flying blind into a hot zone against an unknown number of potential enemies. Not a good situation for first combat, or any combat.

The first to show up was Cmdr. Johnson, followed by Cmdr. Shay for CIC, Cmdr. Josiah for weapons, Capt. Rexia for medical, and Cmdr. Krik coming in fifteen minutes later. I expected as much since engineering as a whole covers every structural system, fore to aft, top to bottom, port to starboard. I imagine she was delegating and running diagnostics on her systems the past two hours, making sure everything was in working order and ready for before showing up.

“Excellent. Now that everyone’s here, let's get started.” Those of us who can take a seat do while the rest shuffle to the sides. Now that I think about it, this should’ve been held in the briefing room. Oops.

Rexia is the first to speak up. “Captain, what can we expect regarding species involved in case there are casualties?”

“Shil, Nighkru, Helkam, possibly a few Rakiri, and maybe a Triki.” Krik’s antennae flutter and twitch when I mention possible Triki involvement. I don’t know much about their society, but it seems they dislike their people getting involved with piracy as much as everyone else does. Good.

“Do we have the requisite materia

And now I’m cannelloni