Memphis TN has the highest average obesity rates

Guess you could say its obese city

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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A baby born now, in 2033, will be a...

Quaran-teen

Source: My local mechanic, bless his heart

http://imgur.com/gallery/XYWedTN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneBullseye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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As a Father of 4 I’ve realized something... Literally all my jokes are just low-effort reposts of a man greater than I.

To you Dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oldmate81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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My girlfriend says she might be pansexual...

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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[Pun Request] Looking for a pun to combine lobster/crustacean with a race car driver/car/track/race.

Title, basically - I need a character name for dnd, dm has required all character names be a pun, and he misinterpreted my initial request to play as a lobster race as a request to stage some sort of actual lobster race.

I haven't thought of anything, and character building sesh is tn, help me out folks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhephaestusx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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My wife and I stayed in a luxury hotel last night. There were many cultural art pieces and the toilets were even imported from Africa!

https://imgur.com/a/1VVnfTN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/readit16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Got my Nephew with the best Dad joke of my life

This was during Thanksgiving but I just remembered it the other day in the car. For Thanksgiving our family and in-laws all got a cabin in east TN. This cabin had a room with a pool table and in that room it had a door to the outside. Well my 12 year old nephew and I would go to play pool a lot and once time while we were down there I took my shoes off and they smelled terrible! So I decided to put them outside using the aforementioned door. Then the best set up of my life happened: My nephew said "Don't put them outside, the bears will eat them!"

Me: "No they wont, they might take them but they won't eat them"

Nephew: "why not?"

Me: "Because they have have bear feet"

My nephew just stared at me, and I sat there looking like suspense eel waiting for him to get it.. and he said "uncle fr0zen_yettiiii that was lame"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fr0zen_yetti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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Hey, I just bought a brand new t-shirt...

http://imgur.com/tnFZkez

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nm1043
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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My dad on an airplane 10 years ago

My dad told me this, never registered in my brain that it was a dad joke until just now. He worked in Memphis, TN but we lived north of Little Rock, AR, so he would hop a 30 minute flight on weekends on a super small commercial jet to come home.

One time there were literally no other passengers on the flight (12-20 passenger plane IIRC). The flight attendant told him "you're our only passenger, pick whatever seat you'd like"

He looked to his left and said "He's in my seat" and pointed to the pilot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IONTOP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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cracksville

So my Mom is from Clarksville Tn and my Dad is from Colombia (so he is Spanish). My brother was giving a report on our family for his Spanish class and my Dad was helping him with it. He asked my Dad where my Mom is from and my Dad told him that she was from Cracksville, and my brother was like "are you sure?" and my Dad was like, "yeah Cracksville." And so my brother announced to his entire Spanish class that our Mom is from Cracksville Tn before he figured out that my Dad was wrong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullnessofjoy84
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2013
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Marvel made a dad joke (x-post /r/comicbooks)

http://i.imgur.com/nTnHOET.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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