I can't find the control for my TV.

It must be in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alex13104
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.

That’ll be the Peer review.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My family can’t seem to find the tv remote. They’ll never find where I hid it.

It’s in a very remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.

Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jnew001
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t people in Afghanistan watch TV?

teleban

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlightsaber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!'

She was watching our wedding video again.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tsir18
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the hitman cancel his cable tv?

He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,

"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Kids: Hey dad, Don Lemon is interviewing Ice-T on TV!

Dad: Half Lemon, half Ice-T? Why didn't you just save time and say it was Arnold Palmer?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Which children's TV character just can't say no?

Noddy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Struggled to change the tv channel today because I couldn’t find the control

It was in a remote location

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whattajosh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't anyone laugh at the TV's joke?

Because it wasn't even remote-ly funny.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad was watching hockey was yelling at the tv because the ref didn't call a penalty for high sticking

I told him to chill and he said "I AM CHILL" so I yelled back "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DAD".. That's right.. I dad joked my dad

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Braydon-J-Durham
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a Japanese martial artist I know, I've seen him on tv before so I excitedly waved at him. He's confused and said "I don't believe we've met"

I said "I recognize Judo"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why won’t I let my kids watch the orchestra play on TV?

Because There’s too much violin-ce

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asdaasdad123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn't watch the TV while sitting on a couch

cause it was sofa away

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13434O
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't computers make TV shows?

The ratings would be 1s and 0s

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I don't let my kids watch music shows on TV.

There's too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siyuze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My mom couldn't find the 'clicker' for the tv and asked my dad if he had seen it.

My dad responds, "I haven't the remotest idea where it is."

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dane83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend has a problem with his tv's speaker system, and he just couldn't understand my interest in the problem.

Me: What's the problem with it?

Friend: It echoes!

Me: It echoes!

Friend: Yeah, it just doesn't stop echoing.

Me: Echoing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad I can't see the TV -- move your head!

bobs-head-from-side-to-side-while-continuing-to-obscure-the-tv

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/penis_sound_wave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
🚨︎ report
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

πŸ‘︎ 499
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesHaven75
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: β€œDon’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She is watching our wedding video again.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: β€œDon’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She is watching our wedding video again.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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