I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
π︎ 172
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasnβt really concentrating so Iβm going to have to watch it again.
Thatβll be the Peer review.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
My family canβt seem to find the tv remote. Theyβll never find where I hid it.
Itβs in a very remote location.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
Why canβt people in Afghanistan watch TV?
π︎ 47
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Donβt go in there! Donβt go in the church, you moron!'
She was watching our wedding video again.
π︎ 161
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Why didn't the hitman cancel his cable tv?
He didn't want to pay an early termination fee.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
Kids: Hey dad, Don Lemon is interviewing Ice-T on TV!
Dad: Half Lemon, half Ice-T? Why didn't you just save time and say it was Arnold Palmer?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
Which children's TV character just can't say no?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
Struggled to change the tv channel today because I couldnβt find the control
It was in a remote location
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 25 2019
Why didn't anyone laugh at the TV's joke?
Because it wasn't even remote-ly funny.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
My dad was watching hockey was yelling at the tv because the ref didn't call a penalty for high sticking
I told him to chill and he said "I AM CHILL" so I yelled back "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DAD".. That's right.. I dad joked my dad
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 13 2019
I saw a Japanese martial artist I know, I've seen him on tv before so I excitedly waved at him. He's confused and said "I don't believe we've met"
I said "I recognize Judo"
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 30 2019
Why wonβt I let my kids watch the orchestra play on TV?
Because Thereβs too much violin-ce
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
I couldn't watch the TV while sitting on a couch
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 06 2018
Why shouldn't computers make TV shows?
The ratings would be 1s and 0s
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 11 2017
I don't let my kids watch music shows on TV.
There's too much sax and violins.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 05 2017
My mom couldn't find the 'clicker' for the tv and asked my dad if he had seen it.
My dad responds, "I haven't the remotest idea where it is."
π︎ 36
π
︎ Mar 09 2015
My friend has a problem with his tv's speaker system, and he just couldn't understand my interest in the problem.
Me: What's the problem with it?
Friend: It echoes!
Me: It echoes!
Friend: Yeah, it just doesn't stop echoing.
Me: Echoing.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 28 2013
Dad I can't see the TV -- move your head!
bobs-head-from-side-to-side-while-continuing-to-obscure-the-tv
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 03 2013
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
π︎ 499
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: βDonβt go in there! Donβt go in the church, you moron!β
She is watching our wedding video again.
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Jul 23 2018
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: βDonβt go in there! Donβt go in the church, you moron!β
She is watching our wedding video again.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
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