Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...
but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock Knock "who's there" Not Sally
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
How can Jedis swing so lightly with a lightsaber and still cut through everything so easily.
They swing with alot of Force.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"
The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, βWait! Iβm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: βAnd you will dialogue.β
π︎ 851
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Do you all remember being in the back yard and dad pushing you in the tire swing?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 24 2020
My wife said that her mood swings,
Well mine usually goes down the slide.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 29 2020
No matter how we pitched the human organs to the other team, they'd swing and miss...
They didn't even bat an eye.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
A grandfather clock swings both ways
Thatβs why we βwatch the hours go biβ
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
Why did the little girl fall off the swing
She had no arms
- The joke was originally told by Ricky Gervais, thought it was very funny
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
What's brown and swings from the belltower?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
Swing and a hit
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
These crazy mood swings
π︎ 79
π
︎ Sep 09 2019
Why does earth always have mood swings?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard?
π︎ 33
π
︎ Oct 10 2019
Whatβs white, light and sugary and swings through trees? ...
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 22 2019
How do you feel about swing sets?
I go back and forth on them.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
What do you call a train with constant mood swings?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 27 2019
All these Spider-Man meme's are in full swing
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 11 2018
What do you call a cup that falls off a swing?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
Dad: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Kid: why?
Dad: because she had no arms!
Kid: laughs youβre so funny dad
Dad: hereβs another... knock knock!
Kid: whoβs there??
Dad: NOT SALLY!
Kid: ....
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 11 2019
What kind of bats swing upside down?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 07 2018
Did you hear Nintendo has a patent for a swing set based console?
They call it the Nintendo Wheeeeeeeeeee!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 12 2018
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 22 2016
Polyamory is great if you can swing it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 06 2016
What is sweet and swings from branch to branch?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 20 2018
With the World Cup in Full Swing
I texted my 13 year old nephew about tonight USA v. Ghana game.
"Do you think we're Ghana win?"
"Are they ghana give us a chance?"
He was not amused.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jun 16 2014
Dadmas is in full swing.
It's tradition to watch A Christmas Story at least like nine times on Christmas in my family. There's a part where Ralphie stares into the camera and smiles after getting away with lying to his mother. Trying to be funny, I said "What the hell's he lookin at!?"
My sister answers with "The camera! It's like in The Office."
Me: "You know, I could never get into The Office."
Dad: "You should find the key, then."
Merry dadmas!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 25 2014
Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock knock who's there
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 08 2020
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, βWait! Iβm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, βAnd you will dialogue!"
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jun 09 2018
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
because she has no arms.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 19 2020
Why did Sarah fall of the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 18 2019
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? No?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
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